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Gymrat12

Do you keep in touch with your parents?

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In the middle east they think if someone cut his relationship with his parents after leaving the house he will be cursed for the rest of his  life. 

And since we are at the bottom of all nations in science, industries, and everything worth considering; we try to make ourselves look special by making the western society look ugly and ours look beautiful and full of happiness; they claim that it is extremely rare to find one of us that abounded his family- which is true-, while most non-Muslims in the western secular societies they don't value family as we do. I believe that what they say might be partially true-although it is exaggerated-  since not all families are worth respecting and loving and people around you ain't going to judge you and look down at you for having a bad relationship with your parents, while here you will be considered very evil for cutting your relationship with your family so even if someone doesn't like his parents he is not  going to say that outload or admit it to anyone. 

So my question is: how much do you visit and talk with your parents and siblings? and how do you look at people who have bad relationship with their family? 

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I'll pop into my Dad's place for a coffee if I'm in the area even if it's just for 5 minutes

And I mean literally a 5 minute cup of coffee and a brief chat at times.

Seems daft but when they're gone, assuming you had a good relationship with them, you'd do anything for just a 5 minute conversation with them. 

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Family are just strangers you were forced to live with ;)

That being said I was close with my mum, when she was ill I used to take a half day off work just to keep her company.

So glad I did now as will never have that opportunity again.

I helped both my younger brothers get onto their chosen career paths but we don't talk anymore, I gave up trying.

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Yeah I keep in touch  through messages mostly . Can’t really communicate with my father face to face or on phone as he is deaf and he doesn’t sign , just a lot of nods and agreeing with what I am saying even tho he has not heard a word :lol:

my mother not so much as she lives 600 miles away and we  don’t get on  so on and off , we can go up to 3 years without talking where it’s that bad but have recently decided to wipe a clean slate and start talking to her again or at least try without dramas for the reasons swole troll mentioned . Don’t really want any regrets of this and that or I wish I would have made contact ect 

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Text my mum twice a week and (non covid) would see her once or twice a month to take her out for dinner. 

Only spoken to my sister once in about 10 year's  , and that was at my brothers funeral, I'd not spoken to him for about 15 years . I only went to the funeral as mother asked me to drive her. 

 My siblings made choices and lived lifestyle that i didn't and I'd had enough of only hearing from them when they needed help or money. 

I  told them directly that i was cutting contact as they had nothing positive to add to my life and I'd bailed them out more than enough.  

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16 minutes ago, vetran said:

I can get it why Middle Eastern children don’t visit there parents maybe it’s because they mutilated them at birth 

And raped them Until they sold them off at 13 To their cousin 

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1 hour ago, Gymrat12 said:

In the middle east they think if someone cut his relationship with his parents after leaving the house he will be cursed for the rest of his  life. 

And since we are at the bottom of all nations in science, industries, and everything worth considering; we try to make ourselves look special by making the western society look ugly and ours look beautiful and full of happiness; they claim that it is extremely rare to find one of us that abounded his family- which is true-, while most non-Muslims in the western secular societies they don't value family as we do. I believe that what they say might be partially true-although it is exaggerated-  since not all families are worth respecting and loving and people around you ain't going to judge you and look down at you for having a bad relationship with your parents, while here you will be considered very evil for cutting your relationship with your family so even if someone doesn't like his parents he is not  going to say that outload or admit it to anyone. 

So my question is: how much do you visit and talk with your parents and siblings? and how do you look at people who have bad relationship with their family? 

You would think after being raped and abused then sold at pre teen age to your dads cousin you would cut ties and not speak to them. Suppose they don’t have the freedom like we do to be able to just walk away and cut ties from our lives. 
 

i speak to my mother and father a few times a week per covid I take my kids to them once a week 

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Muslims are probably right in this regard. The West is a shadow of its former self because families are all but broken these days. 

I didn't speak to my parents for near 4 years. 

Just recently made amends with them. 

It was the right thing to do. All parents are flawed but you only get 1 set of them . Just have to make the best of it. 
 

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My old man lives in spain and there no communication, we've not fallen out, he's just a poor father. Grew up in a nice house, nice holidays, nice things but was never a dad.

Mams just up the road and we get along ok. 

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Father passed away 10 years ago and I'd crawl through glass to see that man again,don't carry many friends close nowadays but that man was a true friend and great dad who never let me down..mam lives half hour away and take the kids up once a week (pre covid) regular phone calls and txts during the week as well to see how she's doing.

Love the pair of them dearly,didn't have much growing up but we we're happy and well fed (lived on big dinners :D) and always laughter and good times at home,always make sure I'm there for my own 2 girls and make it as loving and happy at home as I know best.

Oldest brother passed away at 18 but the other 3 I still have regular contact with.

Friends come and go family is my main priority in this f**ked up world we live in.

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Growing up I was never close to my dad, we clash a lot and seemed to butt heads all the time, sometimes ending up in blows. Now I'm older and have lost family members (grandparents) I've realised maintaining a good relationship with him to look back on fondly when he isn't around any more is important to me than past friction. So I've worked hard to re-establish a good relationship with him. We talk 2-3 times per week via texts and calls, then on the weekend I video call him and my mum. Me and my mum on the other hand talk pretty much everyday, I don't think a day has gone by since leaving home where I haven't spoken to her. 

I speak to both my brother and sister very regularly too. We have all gotten a lot closer now we are adults. Petty squabbles over silly things like who has control over the TV remote don't matter any more so we are able to actually enjoy each other's company. Especially since both my brother and sister work abroad. It makes it all the more special when we are all home together. Can see it means a lot to mum and dad too, which is cool.

I was brought up in an Orthodox Jewish household and we were taught the importance of family. Even though I don't practice and wouldn't remotely consider myself religious that value has seemed to have stuck. Bit soppy but it's nice.

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Text my mum a few times a week and pop in and see her at least once a week. 

See my sister once every 2 weeks roughly, have a great relationship with both of them 

My dad passed away 17 years ago

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I was not an easy kid to bring up. Regularly in trouble at school and had my collar felt by the law on more occasions than I care to remember so in some ways I’m not surprised at the hidings I took off the old boy. However. No child should take the sort of punishment I did at a very young age so I do have a certain amount of bitterness in me towards my dad for that.

I’m 40 now though and my parents mean the world to me. Despite the above I see them whenever I can and me and the old boy regularly go out for a pint together. He’s Scottish and I was born in England so June the 18th when they play each other in the euros is a date I’m really looking forward to as it’s something I’m unlikely to ever get chance to do again.

If I ever did fall out with him though it’s unlikely I’d ever speak to them again as there’s far too much stubbornness in the man to be healthy. He hasn’t spoke to his kid brother in over 15 years which stems from a minor row over a sleeping bag:rolleyes:

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My families completely f**ked like and just seems to lurch from disaster to disaster, proper traumatizing stuff like not just random bad s**t - Mainly caused by my brother.

Its the reason my mental health is shagged and why I've achieved f**k all in my life. Once I'm back on my feet with a job I'll be moving back out and generally cutting contact. My parents have made it clear they're unable to make changes/hard decisions and frankly I have finally got to the point where I'm not letting my family have me feeling depressed 24/7 and making day to day life un-liveable.

It's a shame like because I love them to bits and know I'll regret it but it's a decision I have to make If i stand any chance of happiness/ a normal life with a wife and kids etc.

Maybe after a couple of years of doing me I'll be in a better place mentally where I could deal with that s**t but until then I need out.

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On 18/02/2021 at 2:02 PM, scottysafc said:

My families completely f**ked like and just seems to lurch from disaster to disaster, proper traumatizing stuff like not just random bad s**t - Mainly caused by my brother.

Its the reason my mental health is shagged and why I've achieved f**k all in my life. Once I'm back on my feet with a job I'll be moving back out and generally cutting contact. My parents have made it clear they're unable to make changes/hard decisions and frankly I have finally got to the point where I'm not letting my family have me feeling depressed 24/7 and making day to day life un-liveable.

It's a shame like because I love them to bits and know I'll regret it but it's a decision I have to make If i stand any chance of happiness/ a normal life with a wife and kids etc.

Maybe after a couple of years of doing me I'll be in a better place mentally where I could deal with that s**t but until then I need out.

What age are you out of interest?

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I'm not sure it's true that non-Muslims don't value family as much as Muslims, but it's certainly true that there isn't the same societal pressure to put up with toxic familial relationships.

I think it's entirely healthy to be able to walk away from and generally avoid a55holes, even if they're family members.

It's also healthy to be a member of a genuinely close family unit....and if you belong to one of these, regardless of your background, you should consider yourself very fortunate.

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Any families that have drugs/ alcohol problems will generally end up fcked up. Whether the father was an alcoholic or the mother liked her drugs n was the local village bike. Or the kids grow up and become junkies or develop bad habits. 

Families where there isnt any of this sh1t, generally tend to succeed as a unit.

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