Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
yeue101

Anyone else been in this position?

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, yeue101 said:

So my girlfriend of 4yrs left me back in July and Is now seeing another fella, we broke up due to me being a bit of a dick and just arguing all time. She met this new fella like 2 months after we broke up which I still think personally is way too quick. She was meeting me, kissing me, etc behind his back for a good few weeks when she started seeing this new guy and even told me she didn't love him and said she loved me. 

A month down line now she says she is  "so in love with him" "He treats me amazing" " we go out all time" "her family love him" etc and we cut all contact about 2 weeks ago for this reason as she is supposedly so in love now when few weeks prior she had her tongue down my throat saying she didn't love him. Women are strange lol I mean all along she did tell me we are never getting back together as she can't forgive me anymore and her family already hate me as we have had lots of fallouts which never helped.

I have a suspicion she will come running back in a few months when she realizes I am not going to message her and I have gone because as I always do she thinks I'm going to come pestering her but I'm not so I think when it hits her in a few months she will come crawling back or maybe she will stay with this guy forever. 

Either way, the intense heartbreak, and depression I feel from this is insane I wake up most days wanting to die it is that bad I can't stop thinking about her, and tbh just want her back I mean I do kinda want to move on but I do want her back too as I love her obviously, Has anyone ever been in this position? If so how long does this pain go on for and Is it even possible to move on with another woman or find another woman when you love someone so much? It is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure the intense heartbreak and depression is crazy.

Mate, sorry to hear you have to go through this. It’s horrible when relationships break up and you’re the one who feels so s**t. There’s not much many can say as you’re the one experiencing this. A mate once said to me ‘Time is a healer’. I wanted to smack him one. Didn’t help at the time as I felt there’s no way I’m going to feel any better but I did. He was right. Know all pr1ck  that he was.  
 

She doesn’t sound like she’s the right one for you anyway. It’s not about shagging other women as it’s not what you want to do by the sounds of it. Focus on work, gym, hobbies, surround yourself with friends. I don’t have any so I’m fcuked when it comes to doing that part. 
 

If you start drinking that will make it worse. Up to you though. Keep busy. You may want her back but you don’t need her back. If you were arguing lots then work on leaving it in the  past. You werent right for each other. This happens. 
 

Get in the gym mate. Set some goals that you need to achieve........... if not the nasty non-lifting virgins from the general con section of UKM will ridicule you for being such a cuck when you later post that she fcuked you one night after her and her large knobbed boyfriend fell out but got back together 2 days later.
 

You’re UKM brothers are here for you mate :beer:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To be brutally honest what you are feeling is standard when relationships breakdown. Don't take her back or try and get her back as the relationship has run its course and would never be the same as before but only worse. 

Forget her and cut her loose. get on with your life and someone else will eventually catch your eye and you will move on.

Take this opportunity to reflect on what caused the fallouts and see if there are any areas in which you can improve. Spend some time setting goals and concentrate on personal development.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, PSevens2017 said:

Mate, sorry to hear you have to go through this. It’s horrible when relationships break up and you’re the one who feels so s**t. There’s not much many can say as you’re the one experiencing this. A mate once said to me ‘Time is a healer’. I wanted to smack him one. Didn’t help at the time as I felt there’s no way I’m going to feel any better but I did. He was right. Know all pr1ck  that he was.  
 

She doesn’t sound like she’s the right one for you anyway. It’s not about shagging other women as it’s not what you want to do by the sounds of it. Focus on work, gym, hobbies, surround yourself with friends. I don’t have any so I’m fcuked when it comes to doing that part. 
 

If you start drinking that will make it worse. Up to you though. Keep busy. You may want her back but you don’t need her back. If you were arguing lots then work on leaving it in the  past. You werent right for each other. This happens. 
 

Get in the gym mate. Set some goals that you need to achieve........... if not the nasty non-lifting virgins from the general con section of UKM will ridicule you for being such a cuck when you later post that she fcuked you one night after her and her large knobbed boyfriend fell out but got back together 2 days later.
 

You’re UKM brothers are here for you mate :beer:

Yeah thanks for the kind words, It is just so so hard especially with COVID as you cant do f**k all also I literally have no friends I know a lot on here will take the p1ss but I honestly don't so it makes it 1000x harder as I can't go out to the pub or go nightclubbing as I use to as I literally have no one anymore and that's why the relationship broke down a lot as I expected too much of her and was a little too needy as I have no one else so that strained relationship but as sad as it is I generally have no friends, I go to the gym socialize there but I go to a hardcore gym so it's got no women there lol at all. So I'm kind of stuck in a rut like I can't go out and "move on" like most can with their mates I don't have that option plus covids f((king it up.

I have a very good job earn good money and I mean I am only 24 so there is plenty of time and plenty of life to live for but I honestly don't see the point anymore because If this is the life I don't want it and tbh I can't see me getting out of this hole I am in, maybe I need help because at this rate I can't see me being here much longer as my life is so sh1t I work, go the gym, come home I am so lonely like it is that bad I love work because It is one of the only place I socialize and get out because apart from work I go gym then sit in my house all day depressed. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, yeue101 said:

Yeah thanks for the kind words, It is just so so hard especially with COVID as you cant do f**k all also I literally have no friends I know a lot on here will take the p1ss but I honestly don't so it makes it 1000x harder as I can't go out to the pub or go nightclubbing as I use to as I literally have no one anymore and that's why the relationship broke down a lot as I expected too much of her and was a little too needy as I have no one else so that strained relationship but as sad as it is I generally have no friends, I go to the gym socialize there but I go to a hardcore gym so it's got no women there lol at all. So I'm kind of stuck in a rut like I can't go out and "move on" like most can with their mates I don't have that option plus covids f((king it up.

I have a very good job earn good money and I mean I am only 24 so there is plenty of time and plenty of life to live for but I honestly don't see the point anymore because If this is the life I don't want it and tbh I can't see me getting out of this hole I am in, maybe I need help because at this rate I can't see me being here much longer as my life is so sh1t I work, go the gym, come home I am so lonely like it is that bad I love work because It is one of the only place I socialize and get out because apart from work I go gym then sit in my house all day depressed. 

If you have enough money invest in some counselling sessions. I’ve had loads of counselling in the past. Best thing ever. If you feel like is that bad then do something to change it. 
 

I personally don’t go to the gym to meet women. Probs why I’m always single lol. I go there to train. If you’re a member at a hardcore gym you have all you need to stay focussed. Only you can do that. Get your gym bag ready and go. Start up cardio or ramp it up as this has proven benefits for positive mental health benefits.

You said you were arguing a lot and was a big of a dick with your ex. That would be so much worse if you got back with her. She’s seeing someone else and you’d punish her for it. Also, you’re giving her power to live in your head rent free mate while she’s out loving all the spoiling she’s getting.
 

Yhis is all temporary mate. Millions of people have been  through this (myself included) and we get through it. Believe me that in a few weeks time you’ll feel better. In a few months time, even better. 

Book a counselling session and get to the gym. Block her number. If you don’t like your job, leave. Hard times at the moment so if you’re getting paid well, value that. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, yeue101 said:

Oh don't worry have done plenty of times, lets just say there is nothing this new guy can do that I haven't

Well obviously he can do something that you can't do...........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, yeue101 said:

Yeah thanks for the kind words, It is just so so hard especially with COVID as you cant do f**k all also I literally have no friends I know a lot on here will take the p1ss but I honestly don't so it makes it 1000x harder as I can't go out to the pub or go nightclubbing as I use to as I literally have no one anymore and that's why the relationship broke down a lot as I expected too much of her and was a little too needy as I have no one else so that strained relationship but as sad as it is I generally have no friends, I go to the gym socialize there but I go to a hardcore gym so it's got no women there lol at all. So I'm kind of stuck in a rut like I can't go out and "move on" like most can with their mates I don't have that option plus covids f((king it up.

I have a very good job earn good money and I mean I am only 24 so there is plenty of time and plenty of life to live for but I honestly don't see the point anymore because If this is the life I don't want it and tbh I can't see me getting out of this hole I am in, maybe I need help because at this rate I can't see me being here much longer as my life is so sh1t I work, go the gym, come home I am so lonely like it is that bad I love work because It is one of the only place I socialize and get out because apart from work I go gym then sit in my house all day depressed. 

I am in this very similar position (no friends/social life) except I am still in the 6 year relationship and I have been working from home since covid began so even less socialising, oh and I'm 29!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, drwae said:

Go and shag 10 other girls then tell us you still wake up feeling depressed about your ex :thumbup1:

That usually means the person you split with means f**k all to you.  Not to sound gay but when strong feelings involved it isn’t as easy as that just to go out and bang another bird or a few and feel better about the circumstances. .been there done that does not always work 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, ThatsLife said:

@AncientOldBloke I think some words of wisdom are required here.... 

 

You're just suffering from One-Itis, that's all.

Choice and abundance is your answer.

 

1. Make money

2. Build body

3. f**k other women

4. NO CONTACT 

5. Get stuck into hobbies or sports (new or existing)

 

 

IF she comes back, you're a different man.

 

By implementing  points 1-5 above, instead of thinking "I want her back (like you are now), you will think "Do I want her back? Hmm, I quite like her. I'll add her to my stable"

 

How long?

Depends on you and your self-respect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, monkeybiker said:

I've heard that it's kind of like a drug addiction. You need to remove all connection to her. Delete all pictures and phone numbers and internet links.

Move on, do other stuff and keep busy. After a bit of time you will return to being a normal man and not give a f**k. 

Agreed.

The pain OP is experiencing is oxytocin withdrawal.

How long to go? It's person-dependant. Weeks, months years, but can be sped up with one or two grand projects.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
38 minutes ago, AncientOldBloke said:

 

You're just suffering from One-Itis, that's all.

Choice and abundance is your answer.

 

1. Make money

2. Build body

3. f**k other women

4. NO CONTACT 

5. Get stuck into hobbies or sports (new or existing)

 

 

IF she comes back, you're a different man.

 

By implementing  points 1-5 above, instead of thinking "I want her back (like you are now), you will think "Do I want her back? Hmm, I quite like her. I'll add her to my stable"

 

How long?

Depends on you and your self-respect.

Thank you man! And yeah I have looked a lot about the "No contact rule" and that is what I am currently implementing, I would be a straight-up liar if I said I didn't want her back as I was the main problem it isn't like she was a [email protected] who cheated on me, she gave me plenty of chances in the past to change my ways and I never did I carried on being a prlck to her and by that I mean I wasn't very affectionate, was way too tight and never treat her, was too obsessive and clingy but most of that was because I had no one else so she was my everything in 1 person.

All this aside I have worked on myself and I know exactly where I was going wrong and I have made these changes but It is probably most definitely too late as she seems happy with this new guy. I don't think she properly loves him and I think she probably still loves me we was together 4yrs and like I say she was meeting me saying she loved me when she first started seeing this guy but of course, this new guy is taking her out all time, giving her all the affection she wants etc so of course she is going to be happy and so she should be tbh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As cliché as the saying is, time will be the best healer, here. Don't contact her at all, try to keep yourself busy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It could be worse, you could be married....

In all seriousness though, what you're feeling is basically grief.  The woman's not dead, but you've still lost her so it feels similar.  I honestly believe it's only men that suffer with this.  Men are more romantic than women and struggle to get over a failed relationship more than they do.  In fact, women are usually pretty brutal in that respect - when it's over, they're done with having feelings for you and move on to the next.  Men can pine over a lost love for years if they don't snap out of it.  When you do get over her (and you will), you'll look back and think "why the hell did i get so worked up over her?"  Been there myself quite a few times mate, you'll get over it.  Just sign yourself up with something like match.com or pof, you'll be alright.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, you are gonna be fine.  Just look forward to all the tail you can chase, when out on a Saturday night.  I've been with my mrs now for 17 years (I'm only 36) and sometimes I miss those days of going out on the razz. 

My Saturday nights now consist of a take away, and if I'm a lucky a foot rub.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, yeue101 said:

. I don't think she properly loves him and I think she probably still loves me we was together 4yrs and like I say she was meeting me saying she loved me when she first started seeing this guy but of course, this new guy is taking her out all time, giving her all the affection she wants etc so of course she is going to be happy and so she should be tbh.

None of your business.

Your business is points 1-5 above.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am I on mumsnet  ? 

No one taking the pi55 

Talking about feelings 

No pin a G of tren advise. 

Guess it shows we've all felt this crap at some point.  And all got through it .

Op  it feels  $#it  but will get better. 

Think lots of people who train tend not to have a big social circle.  That's why cross fit is so popular it's a very social way to train.   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember a close friend of mine had a messy break up with a women. She lived with her grandparents and she cheated on him. She left a huge purple dildo at his house and we drove him around to the grandparents as he wanted to tell them what she was really like - we drove him around and he was stood on their lawn waving the massive dildo with them and neighbours all looking out the window. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, yeue101 said:

All this aside I have worked on myself and I know exactly where I was going wrong and I have made these changes but It is probably most definitely too late as she seems happy with this new guy. I don't think she properly loves him and I think she probably still loves me we was together 4yrs and like I say she was meeting me saying she loved me when she first started seeing this guy but of course, this new guy is taking her out all time, giving her all the affection she wants etc so of course she is going to be happy and so she should be tbh.

Pretty much everything needed has been covered in this thread...

If you are still aware of ex and her new boyfriends activities with her, then you haven't followed the whole 'no contact'.

It's an horrific thing to go through but you must completely forget about her, delete everything, no contact, no stalking, no looking up her friends etc.

Time is a shite healer imo but all you can do is learn from your mistakes and don't make them with the next one.

Of course she was all nice and telling you she doesn't love him, she did that so not to directly hurt you in person, her guilt or feeling sorry for you out of old love would of made her romantically connect with you, even if for only a few minutes.  It was fake, you need to accept she's moved on.

It's seems difficult now as your head is probably running through thousands of scenarios, replaying all that happened with different endings etc, 4 years is a long time but you just need to give yourself some space to heal and get used to a different way of life, then once you replace her you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone been in this position at least once in their life.

No easy remedy  . Just got to man the fook up and move on with your life. 

If she's been shagging you and the new fella at the same time, then shes really not worth the grief.

Once your emotions die down a bit and rational thought returns, you'll realise that. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, gymaddict1986 said:

That usually means the person you split with means f**k all to you.  Not to sound gay but when strong feelings involved it isn’t as easy as that just to go out and bang another bird or a few and feel better about the circumstances. .been there done that does not always work 

On the wrong forum if you want to deny it, bro. We encourage it. 

Absolutely agree with you tho. Some can do it. I can’t. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife and partner of 14 years for someone 6 weeks after we split up. 3 years later they live together in a new big house. Some people just move on quick bro. Chin up. It will take time and I mean a lot of time and you need to get out about and feel confident and content in yourself before dating.
 

Been there walked in those shoes. Chin up and it’s a long road and many sleepless nights stay away from tren and clomid for now 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes we’ve all been in s**t relationships. 

 

Over time you’ll learn to accept and deal with it more until you move on to new and better things. 

 

Invest in yourself a bit more and you’ll be surprised how quickly your mental state about her changes. People often latch on to ex’s because they don’t have much going for themselves in there own life. 

 

Focus on you, build a foundation. A partner should add to your life, and if that happens to end then you still have every aspect of you and your life minus the girl.

 

Be self sufficient before getting involved in a serious relationship or you’ll always feel this was after a break up. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 24/10/2020 at 8:36 AM, MTM1 said:

All joking aside, I've been through a divorce, I was the guilty party but I found it way way harder than I anticipated. Expected it to signal a new start, etc but it dragged out for a long time because I struggled to go through with it. Kept beating myself up that I'd done the wrong thing and I should give it another proper go etc then few hours later I couldn't not be with my now girlfriend but then mistress. I could see exactly why people take their own lives as you just can't see a right decision. In the end you realise there is no right decision except to make one and run with it. Time does heal in the end but I think I'll always carry some scars from the whole situation and I've always considered myself mentally resilient and adaptable. It's tough but just take it a day at a time, have a good friend you can confide in and get it off your chest. I realised enough was enough when I had spent several years outwardly happy but inwardly sad and didn't want to wake up 50 and look back thinking I'd lost a decade. If you've not got children it'll definitely be easier, get a new career, buy some new clothes, train harder keep pushing on 

Take your own life??? Are you fu**ing serious? Come on ffs nothing is bad enough to do that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, MickeyE said:

Everyone been in this position at least once in their life.

No easy remedy  . Just got to man the fook up and move on with your life. 

If she's been shagging you and the new fella at the same time, then shes really not worth the grief.

Once your emotions die down a bit and rational thought returns, you'll realise that. 

 

I was when I was 14.....my first bird!

I was Young she was older! Met her at a birthday party playing spin the bottle....she sucked the face off me French kissing in the bogs!

I was in love....she wasn’t I was listening to the House Martin’s on the radio feeling depressed! Glad I didn’t kill myself lol!

Here I am now with a draw full of sex toys a great life and a beautiful wife who loves my dick pounding in and out of her sweet pussy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, KETONES said:

Here I am now with a draw full of sex toys a great life and a beautiful wife who loves my dick pounding in and out of her sweet pussy!

Beautiful words there mate 

You should write a sex novel :thumb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×