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1,190 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You can convert pounds to kilos in your head

Your warm up is everyone else's max

You love the sound of barbells and weight plates crashing to the floor

You are always covered in chalk dust

People move out of the squat rack when you walk into the gym

You don't go out on a Friday night because you have to train Saturday morning

You grunt loudly on your last rep

You have massive glutes

Your friends call you 'beast'

You are unbelievably bored on rest days

You never do more than five reps of anything

Unless it's twenty-rep squats

You automatically stop what you are doing and shout encouragement when anyone in the gym is going for a big lift

You enjoy showing off your callouses

When you walk past a mirror you drop into a squat, just to check

You get nervous on heavy days

You have constant scrapes on your shins

Other people tell you their max lifts and watch for your reaction

You think football players are skinny, rugby forwards are normal size and strongmen are 'big'

Other people think you are 'big'

You care more about your max squat than your max bench

Your starter is everyone else's main course

You have torn at least one item of clothing while training

Jackets that are allegedly in your size don't fit you

You see a tyre and want to flip it

'Sumo' is a type of deadlift not a Japanese wrestling sport

You are more impressed by a big back than by a big chest

You always want to put more weight on the bar!

you get a headache and a bloody nose from tying your shoes

you have huge arms and small biceps

Plan business trips according to what big gyms are in the area

When it is mentally painful to use high reps.

when you own more polyester suits than Disco Stu

when your wife or girlfriend asks if you liked the dinner she cooked, you respond by giving her 3 white lights

when you eat during your workout

when you are constantly looking for a gym bag big enough to store all your gear

you start giving verbal ques during sex

you can redlight squats from just hearing the federation

You love the blood running down your shins, which had just healed from you last deadlift work out.

You tell the story of how you ripped all of the flesh from your hand on your last deadlift, and how you super glued it back on.

When you show people your hands an they tell you to get gloves and you just laugh.

you own ballet slippers and aren't accused of being gay

You hook grip your grocery bags.

You mow your lawn with a mixed grip.

You can't count over 3, but you can multiply by 45 in your head.

You have the biggest quads in your gym... and the smallest calves.

You check your depth while taking a dump.

You've asked for a weight by colors ("gimme 3 reds and a blue&quot

You've dropped something and gone to pick it up... in a sumo stance.

You're having sex and think..."hrm this will help teach me to pull my hips through better.

You look up to men that are the biggest and hairest freaks on the planet.

Every two hours you have to eat something, it doesn't matter what, you just have to eat.

You become almost homicidal if someone calls you a bodybuilder.

You hate cardio and wish that no one ever invented a stair master.

your squat is bigger than your paycheck, and you're proud of it

You need to go up a size or two just to fit your neck/traps through a t-shirt.

There is a nice Bar sized brusie across your traps and your proud of it.

Commercial Gym Trainers keep asking when will you stop Bulking and start your cutting up phase.

You take it as an insult when the pad is on the bar at the gym, and try to find a good hiding place for it so that no one will try to put it on YOUR bar again.

The weight on the bar matters more than grades on tests

You wonder how many calories would be in a Squat Rack Curler, and if it would be worth the energy expenditure required to kill, cook and eat them.

you do a box squat in and out of EVERY chair (I do this every day)

if you develop white lung from chalk and babypowder

if your upper back crampes from wipping your own ass

When you need 4 spotters, 3 assistants, and several square feet of neoprene to take a ****.

When you need the window to be open and the fan on to sleep... in the winter.

You only use the car heater to make weight for meets.

You swear your XL t-shirts must have shrunk in the wash, cause there is no way they are that small.

You give up on jeans, and stick to sweat pants and shorts.

You wipe your ass from between your legs cause the cramps in your lats are so bad.

The massage therapists takes time off before and after your scheduled massage to get ready/be recovered.

You leave a new chiropractors office when you realized he is under 200 pounds.

You BMI said your obese and you cant get good health insurance.

The bodybuilders at the expo dont like taking pictures with you cause you make them look small.

At the Arnold classic you walked right past all the IFBB pros to get an autograph of Matt "Kroc"

You need a break every half hour from mowing the lawn cause you back is killing you.

You were up all night puking on your deathbead so you decide to make today a speed day.

Youve had several near death experiences by missing one of the hooks on the monolift.

You eat so much at the buffet before your meet that you can hardly see cause your face is so bloated.

You should never be allowed a cheat meal on a diet since you can consume 20,000 calories on site.

When you think bodybuilder's and gym noobs' have a decent workout plan... once you reverse the sets and reps

Even if it's too heavy....lift it!
2,173 Posts
matey, good post. most of them are true! especially the monolift, have had a few near misses on those things. always good to have a spotter assist the bar in with you!

Gym Addict
431 Posts
Harry Sacks said:
Or in my case you don't go out on a friday night because its heavy squat night!

lol I used to go out after heavy squat and leg sessions, and several times ended up crawling home after insane cramps in both quads meant I couldnt support my weight on my feet!

Luckily I was quite drunk so didnt feel like too much of a **** at the time:lol:

1,631 Posts
heres another one

You know your obsessed with stregth training when:

Your arms, chest, legs and hips are constantly covered in marks, bruises and lines from squat suits and bench shirts yet you still think 'i need a tighter suit'

Premium Member
937 Posts
I especially love the comment about squatting everytime you pass a mirror! :thumb:

My glutes like the rest of me are huge, all supported on the smallest calves you would ever see in a gym! lol
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