Joined
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1,190 Posts
You can convert pounds to kilos in your head
Your warm up is everyone else's max
You love the sound of barbells and weight plates crashing to the floor
You are always covered in chalk dust
People move out of the squat rack when you walk into the gym
You don't go out on a Friday night because you have to train Saturday morning
You grunt loudly on your last rep
You have massive glutes
Your friends call you 'beast'
You are unbelievably bored on rest days
You never do more than five reps of anything
Unless it's twenty-rep squats
You automatically stop what you are doing and shout encouragement when anyone in the gym is going for a big lift
You enjoy showing off your callouses
When you walk past a mirror you drop into a squat, just to check
You get nervous on heavy days
You have constant scrapes on your shins
Other people tell you their max lifts and watch for your reaction
You think football players are skinny, rugby forwards are normal size and strongmen are 'big'
Other people think you are 'big'
You care more about your max squat than your max bench
Your starter is everyone else's main course
You have torn at least one item of clothing while training
Jackets that are allegedly in your size don't fit you
You see a tyre and want to flip it
'Sumo' is a type of deadlift not a Japanese wrestling sport
You are more impressed by a big back than by a big chest
You always want to put more weight on the bar!
you get a headache and a bloody nose from tying your shoes
you have huge arms and small biceps
Plan business trips according to what big gyms are in the area
When it is mentally painful to use high reps.
when you own more polyester suits than Disco Stu
when your wife or girlfriend asks if you liked the dinner she cooked, you respond by giving her 3 white lights
when you eat during your workout
when you are constantly looking for a gym bag big enough to store all your gear
you start giving verbal ques during sex
you can redlight squats from just hearing the federation
You love the blood running down your shins, which had just healed from you last deadlift work out.
You tell the story of how you ripped all of the flesh from your hand on your last deadlift, and how you super glued it back on.
When you show people your hands an they tell you to get gloves and you just laugh.
you own ballet slippers and aren't accused of being gay
You hook grip your grocery bags.
You mow your lawn with a mixed grip.
You can't count over 3, but you can multiply by 45 in your head.
You have the biggest quads in your gym... and the smallest calves.
You check your depth while taking a dump.
You've asked for a weight by colors ("gimme 3 reds and a blue"
You've dropped something and gone to pick it up... in a sumo stance.
You're having sex and think..."hrm this will help teach me to pull my hips through better.
You look up to men that are the biggest and hairest freaks on the planet.
Every two hours you have to eat something, it doesn't matter what, you just have to eat.
You become almost homicidal if someone calls you a bodybuilder.
You hate cardio and wish that no one ever invented a stair master.
your squat is bigger than your paycheck, and you're proud of it
You need to go up a size or two just to fit your neck/traps through a t-shirt.
There is a nice Bar sized brusie across your traps and your proud of it.
Commercial Gym Trainers keep asking when will you stop Bulking and start your cutting up phase.
You take it as an insult when the pad is on the bar at the gym, and try to find a good hiding place for it so that no one will try to put it on YOUR bar again.
The weight on the bar matters more than grades on tests
You wonder how many calories would be in a Squat Rack Curler, and if it would be worth the energy expenditure required to kill, cook and eat them.
you do a box squat in and out of EVERY chair (I do this every day)
if you develop white lung from chalk and babypowder
if your upper back crampes from wipping your own ass
When you need 4 spotters, 3 assistants, and several square feet of neoprene to take a ****.
When you need the window to be open and the fan on to sleep... in the winter.
You only use the car heater to make weight for meets.
You swear your XL t-shirts must have shrunk in the wash, cause there is no way they are that small.
You give up on jeans, and stick to sweat pants and shorts.
You wipe your ass from between your legs cause the cramps in your lats are so bad.
The massage therapists takes time off before and after your scheduled massage to get ready/be recovered.
You leave a new chiropractors office when you realized he is under 200 pounds.
You BMI said your obese and you cant get good health insurance.
The bodybuilders at the expo dont like taking pictures with you cause you make them look small.
At the Arnold classic you walked right past all the IFBB pros to get an autograph of Matt "Kroc"
You need a break every half hour from mowing the lawn cause you back is killing you.
You were up all night puking on your deathbead so you decide to make today a speed day.
Youve had several near death experiences by missing one of the hooks on the monolift.
You eat so much at the buffet before your meet that you can hardly see cause your face is so bloated.
You should never be allowed a cheat meal on a diet since you can consume 20,000 calories on site.
When you think bodybuilder's and gym noobs' have a decent workout plan... once you reverse the sets and reps
Your warm up is everyone else's max
You love the sound of barbells and weight plates crashing to the floor
You are always covered in chalk dust
People move out of the squat rack when you walk into the gym
You don't go out on a Friday night because you have to train Saturday morning
You grunt loudly on your last rep
You have massive glutes
Your friends call you 'beast'
You are unbelievably bored on rest days
You never do more than five reps of anything
Unless it's twenty-rep squats
You automatically stop what you are doing and shout encouragement when anyone in the gym is going for a big lift
You enjoy showing off your callouses
When you walk past a mirror you drop into a squat, just to check
You get nervous on heavy days
You have constant scrapes on your shins
Other people tell you their max lifts and watch for your reaction
You think football players are skinny, rugby forwards are normal size and strongmen are 'big'
Other people think you are 'big'
You care more about your max squat than your max bench
Your starter is everyone else's main course
You have torn at least one item of clothing while training
Jackets that are allegedly in your size don't fit you
You see a tyre and want to flip it
'Sumo' is a type of deadlift not a Japanese wrestling sport
You are more impressed by a big back than by a big chest
You always want to put more weight on the bar!
you get a headache and a bloody nose from tying your shoes
you have huge arms and small biceps
Plan business trips according to what big gyms are in the area
When it is mentally painful to use high reps.
when you own more polyester suits than Disco Stu
when your wife or girlfriend asks if you liked the dinner she cooked, you respond by giving her 3 white lights
when you eat during your workout
when you are constantly looking for a gym bag big enough to store all your gear
you start giving verbal ques during sex
you can redlight squats from just hearing the federation
You love the blood running down your shins, which had just healed from you last deadlift work out.
You tell the story of how you ripped all of the flesh from your hand on your last deadlift, and how you super glued it back on.
When you show people your hands an they tell you to get gloves and you just laugh.
you own ballet slippers and aren't accused of being gay
You hook grip your grocery bags.
You mow your lawn with a mixed grip.
You can't count over 3, but you can multiply by 45 in your head.
You have the biggest quads in your gym... and the smallest calves.
You check your depth while taking a dump.
You've asked for a weight by colors ("gimme 3 reds and a blue"
You've dropped something and gone to pick it up... in a sumo stance.
You're having sex and think..."hrm this will help teach me to pull my hips through better.
You look up to men that are the biggest and hairest freaks on the planet.
Every two hours you have to eat something, it doesn't matter what, you just have to eat.
You become almost homicidal if someone calls you a bodybuilder.
You hate cardio and wish that no one ever invented a stair master.
your squat is bigger than your paycheck, and you're proud of it
You need to go up a size or two just to fit your neck/traps through a t-shirt.
There is a nice Bar sized brusie across your traps and your proud of it.
Commercial Gym Trainers keep asking when will you stop Bulking and start your cutting up phase.
You take it as an insult when the pad is on the bar at the gym, and try to find a good hiding place for it so that no one will try to put it on YOUR bar again.
The weight on the bar matters more than grades on tests
You wonder how many calories would be in a Squat Rack Curler, and if it would be worth the energy expenditure required to kill, cook and eat them.
you do a box squat in and out of EVERY chair (I do this every day)
if you develop white lung from chalk and babypowder
if your upper back crampes from wipping your own ass
When you need 4 spotters, 3 assistants, and several square feet of neoprene to take a ****.
When you need the window to be open and the fan on to sleep... in the winter.
You only use the car heater to make weight for meets.
You swear your XL t-shirts must have shrunk in the wash, cause there is no way they are that small.
You give up on jeans, and stick to sweat pants and shorts.
You wipe your ass from between your legs cause the cramps in your lats are so bad.
The massage therapists takes time off before and after your scheduled massage to get ready/be recovered.
You leave a new chiropractors office when you realized he is under 200 pounds.
You BMI said your obese and you cant get good health insurance.
The bodybuilders at the expo dont like taking pictures with you cause you make them look small.
At the Arnold classic you walked right past all the IFBB pros to get an autograph of Matt "Kroc"
You need a break every half hour from mowing the lawn cause you back is killing you.
You were up all night puking on your deathbead so you decide to make today a speed day.
Youve had several near death experiences by missing one of the hooks on the monolift.
You eat so much at the buffet before your meet that you can hardly see cause your face is so bloated.
You should never be allowed a cheat meal on a diet since you can consume 20,000 calories on site.
When you think bodybuilder's and gym noobs' have a decent workout plan... once you reverse the sets and reps
