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*The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge drinking.

*A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos! Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!

*85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet

*Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on ... .My face

*2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to Murphy that´s the best sex I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?

*If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers celebrate boysntines day, do ****ers celebrate palm sunday?

*Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*st*rd was corgi registered

*Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a tosser.
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