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I came off after around 7 years of continuous shutdown and a decade of steroid use.

Ran a fairly half assed PCT and felt almost hollow, like I had no real drive to do much of anything, libido was shot, I kept training and eating healthy though.

I only gave it a few months as the decision was based purely off of being all over the shop with my life at the time but the grind of recovery was bearable, it's not pleasant by any means but if you're truly set on recovering your hpta, I'd like to think that most dedicated gym goers could apply that same level of discipline to grinding through the discomfort of hpta recovery for 2-24 months (the margin really is this big).

I've said this before on here, totally agree with @DarkKnight don't obsess over a snap shot in time of your lab numbers

• Run a PCT
• Test gonadotropins 6 weeks later
• Test them again plus testosterone 12 weeks after that

That's it.

All this obsessing over numbers is only going to stress you out and remember that testosterone levels fluctuate naturally anyway, so a moment in time really isn't worth a great deal in the grandscheme of things once you've confirmed the land marks of recovery.

Just confirm you're moving in the right direction and then forget about it and get on with life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Good luck bro

It’s no big deal if you don’t make it one, don’t focus on numbers and bloods too much and just get on with your life

90% of people will recover given enough time. That’s where people usually fail, they jump back on after a few months because they see a low blood reading
Good advice, thanks mate, I know we give each other shit on here but I appreciate the advise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
Update: It’s been 1 week since I did my last jab (50mg test cyp)

Definitely noticed a reduction in libido and also a bit of fatigue, which in a very weird way is nice as it’s given the wife a bit of a reprieve from the constant relations haha, also due to the fatigue I’ve dropped down to 3 gym sessions a week and have upped my sleep to compensate.

I’m doing my second shot of HCG tonight, also decided to use the Gorilla chemists Natabolic supplement once my HCG use is over as it contains some really good clinically dosed ingredients.(The newer batch’s now contain Turkesterone)
Fully expecting to notice more fatigue as there’s still testosterone in my body and also refraining from doing bloods until 6 weeks post PCT just to see if LH and FSH are back in range, if they are then won’t do bloods for at least another 12 weeks and will just crack on with things.
 

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Update: It’s been 1 week since I did my last jab (50mg test cyp)

Definitely noticed a reduction in libido and also a bit of fatigue, which in a very weird way is nice as it’s given the wife a bit of a reprieve from the constant relations haha, also due to the fatigue I’ve dropped down to 3 gym sessions a week and have upped my sleep to compensate.

I’m doing my second shot of HCG tonight, also decided to use the Gorilla chemists Natabolic supplement once my HCG use is over as it contains some really good clinically dosed ingredients.(The newer batch’s now contain Turkesterone)
Fully expecting to notice more fatigue as there’s still testosterone in my body and also refraining from doing bloods until 6 weeks post PCT just to see if LH and FSH are back in range, if they are then won’t do bloods for at least another 12 weeks and will just crack on with things.

Will be keeping an eye on this mate as I am going through something similar. However, not to same extent.

Did you get baseline bloods?

Keep us in loop
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
Will be keeping an eye on this mate as I am going through something similar. However, not to same extent.

Did you get baseline bloods?

Keep us in loop
I’ve got Base line bloods before TRT and also post past steroid cycles and my serum test stays in the 13-20 non/L range but this is only 5 months post usage so I’m hoping after a year of consistent effort I can get it over 20 non/L and optimise free T so I can focus on other things in life other than jabbing lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
Update: Mental resiliency has definitely taken a downturn, I work nights driving class 1 and had to go to a place in Warrington which has two ways to get to it which I didn’t know at the time (Both we’re 7.5 Tonne weight limits but very accessible) my sat nav doing its job routed me through a village avoiding them which then progressed to an even smaller village with tight turns and then progressed to a dirt track.

Usually I’d be cool as a cumcumer and worst case stop the truck and just call for assistance but this time I felt a lot of anxiety and fear, The office women who I called for help said to me at the end of the shift “It’s not like you to get wobbled over something are you ok”.

Thankfully got out with nothing more than my trailer kissing a masonry wall and some shrubbery attached to it but felt awful for the rest of the night.

Got home as had a shot of HCG and 8 hours sleep so feel a bit better but my OCD (Which is massively exasperated when off TRT) is making me think all sorts (Did I do any damage to anyones property/did I hurt anyone)

Thankfully I know this period will pass as it has done before but definitely not feeling very self confident or secure today.

Goes to show our “self confident view of ourselves can be fluid and go to shit at the drop of a hat when our hormones are ****ed”
 

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Update: Mental resiliency has definitely taken a downturn, I work nights driving class 1 and had to go to a place in Warrington which has two ways to get to it which I didn’t know at the time (Both we’re 7.5 Tonne weight limits but very accessible) my sat nav doing its job routed me through a village avoiding them which then progressed to an even smaller village with tight turns and then progressed to a dirt track.

Usually I’d be cool as a cumcumer and worst case stop the truck and just call for assistance but this time I felt a lot of anxiety and fear, The office women who I called for help said to me at the end of the shift “It’s not like you to get wobbled over something are you ok”.

Thankfully got out with nothing more than my trailer kissing a masonry wall and some shrubbery attached to it but felt awful for the rest of the night.

Got home as had a shot of HCG and 8 hours sleep so feel a bit better but my OCD (Which is massively exasperated when off TRT) is making me think all sorts (Did I do any damage to anyones property/did I hurt anyone)

Thankfully I know this period will pass as it has done before but definitely not feeling very self confident or secure today.

Goes to show our “self confident view of ourselves can be fluid and go to shit at the drop of a hat when our hormones are ****ed”
Did you have anxiety problems before you started aas do you remember? Or maybe you developed these problems since? This is a bit much for being 2-3 weeks into pct mate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
Did you have anxiety problems before you started aas do you remember? Or maybe you developed these problems since? This is a bit much for being 2-3 weeks into pct mate.
Definitely nothing before I started in 2011 however there have been some things that have happened in my life from 2009 onwards which have affected me mentality and one of the first things I noticed when doing my first testosterone cycle was how much more, levelled out and self confident I was and noticed reduced markers in depression,anxiety etc.

One of my few strengths though is I have the ability to mentally separate from the situation so it doesn’t make me make a rash decision to jump back on but last night it caught me out.

Fully agree with what you’ve said it’s a bit worrying 2/3 weeks post stopping to feel this way.
 

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Serious question. Why were you on trt in the first place with those test levels? 20 nmol is decent, especially if you’re over 40 like me

Also, why are you putting yourself through this torment when you can just get on nebido if the jabbing frequency is an issue for you?

1 shot every 8-12 weeks and you’re sorted bro
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Serious question. Why were you on trt in the first place with those test levels? 20 nmol is decent, especially if you’re over 40 like me

Also, why are you putting yourself through this torment when you can just get on nebido if the jabbing frequency is an issue for you?

1 shot every 8-12 weeks and you’re sorted bro
Fair question mate, Off TRT I never felt right, libido and desire were never an issue, but I always had depersonalisation,low mood, self confidence,fatigue etc, first cycle I ever did all my mates were saying how super human they felt and for me I just felt normal for the first time .

Did all the things like therapy which helped and eventually after a few years spoke to Dr Robert Steven’s at the mens health clinic who has published papers on how testosterone helps with depersonalisation,low mood etc and thought I’d pull bloods and see where I’m at.

The findings were that my issue was very low levels of free Test and very low estrogen, while having a reasonable testosterone level (12.5), BSSM guidelines state that I met the standard for a 6 month trial of TRT to see if symptoms improved.

Within 2 weeks I felt much better, More mental clarity,less depersonalisation, more energy ,better mental state.

However estrogen was having to be controlled even on 100mg a week and Hematacrit and Hemoglobin were at dangerous levels and I can’t donate unfortunately due to medical reasons so have been left in a bit of a conundrum as I don’t want to optimise one marker at the detriment of others.

It’s not the end of the world me coming off but I’m 40 now and the worlds a lot different from my view back in my 20’s.
 
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