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About RoadToRecovery247

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  1. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Undecided mate. I want to see where I can get to naturally and make the decision then. To be honest, I think I'm going to be happy with what I can achieve naturally, gear has obviously crossed my mind but reflecting now on the last few years it just made me lazy. Being able to train infrequently with a s**t diet and still look good is criminal lol.
  2. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    So... My last update. Attached is a photo of a 6 week difference training naturally. My biggest fear coming off test after so long was never being able to make a difference training naturally. Hopefully the attached photo will fill some of you with hope and optimism. My training has been on point more than it has been for years. My protein intake consistently above 200g with a calorie controlled diet. Am I as big as I was on gear? Nope. Am I feeling much better about myself and still making progress each week, naturally? Yes. The first photo was a result of me being negative and believing there was no point in training hard or dieting, and my physique really suffered. I then woke up one day and thought what the f**k am I doing, got my head down and worked my ass off. In short - this is the best decision I've ever made. Shout out to @Sustanation for the moral support at low times. Over and out!
  3. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Meds have always put me off after reading about the potential side effects - particularly fina unless I was supplementing it with TRT to keep some sort of sex drive. Do you have any experience with them? No, the horror stories online are too much lol. I think if I was on TRT I'd probably take it but not with natural test, the period I had coming off this cycle for a few months with 0 sex drive was bad enough haha. I'm hoping there'll be some miraculous medical breakthrough in the next couple of years, particularly with the male grooming market and mental health awareness.
  4. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Don't want to get your hopes up and say yes, but it was definitely accelerating at a faster pace towards the end of cycle. Now it's small, will get progressively worse but I'm getting to terms with that - will more than likely get a transplant in the next 2-5 years (depending how long my hair stays tolerable...)
  5. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    I used HCG when I came off (like 8 weeks after coming off... Delayed start). Bloods were drawn at around 10am, if I did ejaculate it would have been the night before maybe. My prolactin has been high in all 3 blood tests, I'm a tad irritable, maybe more so than usual so I put that to the prolactin but otherwise feel fine. Haha mate oddly enough noticing hairloss was one of the reasons I came off. As you've probably read I was on for 8 years at a cycle dose not cruise, honestly 9 months on I'm so happy I did. I'd go back in gear in the future (when I get myself into good shape naturally and priorities change) but for now the peace of mind I get from not worrying about a jab, or my heart, or other health factors is great. The beginning absolutely sucked, like really sucked, but now everything is back to normal... Minus a good few KGs of muscle lol.
  6. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    They're still not back to normal size, but they're not noticeably smaller than average. Sperm count can take place at 1 year mark, not very important to me at the moment. You're 9 months late mate lol
  7. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    No plans to at all, unless it because absolutely necessary/health hazard if I don't. However when the time comes I definitely wouldn't hesitate to, just hoping that's at least 10 years away lol.
  8. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Been a while, thought I'd post some up to date bloods. It's been around 9 months since coming off. Feel back to myself, life is normal again. Testosterone lower than I'd like, but that's life, hopefully it'll continue to increase, will get another test done at the 12 month mark. Just started back consistently in the gym with a structured programme and diet, mostly to lean up (definitely added some timber since coming off). Latest photo attached - significant muscle and strength lost, but my training has been extremely infrequent so please don't let it dishearten you if you're planning to take the plunge...
  9. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    After reading back over this blog I think there is probably some value in giving small updates (no matter how small). So earlier this week I really craved to go back on gear. I had a good gym session, decent pump and just missed the feeling of feeling 'jacked'. It also naïvely played on my mind that if after 8 years my balls are still capable of producing test, what's the harm in going back on for a bit if I'll recover anyway? That's probably been my only mental slip towards going back on. Over it now, realise it was a moment of weakness and feel the better for it. Big shout out to @Sustanation for being voice of reason. Took a couple of weeks off the gym - work was hectic and I think I needed to just give me body a complete rest. Started back this week, used weights at 70% capacity so hard to gauge strength difference but it will be substantial compared to on cycle. Physique wise - well, here's the thing. I'm definitely not as big, round, 3D or lean. But, I don't look half as bad as I thought I would. I don't think I'll ever achieve the look I did while on aas but I'm comfortable I'll be able to achieve something I'm happy with naturally (pending there isn't a great deal of further muscle decline from now ((3 means post last injection))). So all in all, feeling okay. The clomid is still making me feel irritable, little things piss me off, but I'm fine with this knowing what's causing it. Really happy I bit the bullet, it's been a tough slog and I imagine it'll continue to be for the next few months. Plan is to post a physique result over the next 4-6 weeks. This will feature how I look now (hopefully at my worst) and then after 4-6 weeks of at least consistent training. Don't hold your breath for anything impressive
  10. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Better than it was but no where near what it was on cycle. To be fair, I would have described myself as a sex addict for the last 5 years so it's probably now just at a normal, mortal level to the point where if I couldn't find someone to sleep with that day, I'd happily just use an escort (and then regret my life choices for 2 days). Because I'm so used to that level of sex drive, how I feel now still feels alien.
  11. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Update So training has taken a huge hit in terms of frequency, I'm probably averaging once or twice a week. Again naively I'm forgetting that strength isn't a given anymore and if I don't use it - I will lose it. Strength was down around 7% today on chest movements, not overly different for other muscle groups but a strength decline nonetheless. Now, with the exception of strength loss and muscle loss, I thought I'd actually speak up about the positives of coming off a little bit more. No injections - seriously, this is sooo nice to not have to stress about. (I appreciate for a cycle injection days are full of joy and happiness, but after 8 years where it's no longer a cycle just a way of living, it sucks). Body dysmorphia - on cycle I'd constantly be slightly self conscious of how I looked, which was the main reason for not coming off - even though I looked substantially better than I do now. Now I feel a lot more comfortable, I'm not stressing in the mirror most days like before. I do feel a bit 'sad' when I realise I'm not as muscular, less round/full, BUT the expectation on myself has dropped and how I look is no longer the epitome of my existence (slight exaggeration) Time - ironically I'm moaning about not having time for the gym, but equally not being so obsessed has freed up time to do other s**t - watch TV, snowboard, go play tennis with some mates, be a slob, go to the cinema. Not stressing about not having a bit of protein before bed and thinking I'm wasting away in a pile of catabolic dog s**t while I sleep. I'm not saying all of the above are necessarily a good (or healthy) change for me, but the absence of pressure and anxiety has helped me chill the f**k out. I'll probably limit the updates now to blood days (so every 4-6 weeks). If I was to summarise... Week 1-3 - horrible anxiety, complete placebo but couldn't help but feel anxious constantly. Weeks 4 - coming to terms with it Weeks 5-7 - Horrendous, probably the worst I've ever felt. Broken sleep, cold sweats, illness, anxiety, lack of concentration, nightmares... Rough rough rough. Weeks 8-10 - normalising, accepting I'm not going to look the same but finally a functioning human being. To those in similar situations, don't let anxiety or self expectations dictate the actions and decisions you make. There is a life beyond AAS, there's always chance to go back on it. But if you're in the position where you feel you NEED steroids to feel normal, that's probably a good sign that's it's anything but normal. Will post a physique update with next round of bloods
  12. Mate @Sustanation has been supporting/coaching me through my PCT after being on cycle for 8 years and coming off. Not only has he really helped me with regards to what meds/supps to take he's also been a massive support to me for when I'm feeling a bit low/shitty/unsure. Reach out to him, at the very least you'll get another well informed perspective on how your hormones are interacting with your body, at best he'll help you overcome your ED.
  13. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Update with bloods, day 65. Appreciate the positive improvements are artificially higher due to HCG, but still elated that my balls are at least somewhat capable of floating test around after 8 years of sleep. More bloods after SERM cycle, stay tuned.
  14. Coming Off 8 Year Test Cycle

    Ah fair enough mate, that's s**t to hear. Is there anything that can be done to reverse it? My heart rate fluctuates between 50-53, I'll keep an eye on it. I think I'm quite fortunate that I never really drink, diet is always reasonable, always been active with sports etc. I'd be coming off altogether if I was in your shoes, or at the very least down to TRT, how you aren't living with extreme anxiety and paranoia I don't know (granted I am a self confessed hypochondriac)