BLUE(UK)

This is why....... he is....., The Guv ‘nor. 

I met a girl in the gym 
she was very very very thin
i said you’ll do me i don’t like them fat
she said go get fcked you ugly tw*t

Very few cycle, most stay on but say they’re off or on low doses. 

Don’t want no trouble.  

Don’t want no trouble.  

Move aside you bunch of homo’s!!!  
 
‘An ode to the guvnor, @vetran‘
 
’Our jolly gay mascot, Ketones is his name,
 
Has challenged his brethren to a poetic game,
 
The Guv’nor, arr Vet, was called unto arms, 
So sad he’s not here to sell us his charms,
He popped into Consett to purchase some pens 
Got tempted by the Gloryhole in the local Spoons’ Mens!
Our Geordie diamond came running from the pub
Holding  a Watneys Party 7 and ounce of ready rub, 
His face was bright red and looked covered in sweat, sadly ‘‘twas semen but we still love you Vet!
The moral of this story, well I don’t know what it iz
but I know I love arr Vet, even covered in jizz!!!! 
 
 
Edit - before I get pulled for it not being about bodybuilding...... Vet is the Guv ‘nor of UKM so it’s totally about BB (with a little bit of bukkake thrown in too). 
 
 

Read it again now it’s edited. 

 
I walked into the gym feeling tepid
By the second set, I was intrepid
 
Dat tren and drol now be workin’
I’m not here for just networkin’
 
There’s a job to do, ahma git it done
I can lift AND have fun
 
The third set was a bit of a bitch
I hyperventilated and got the stitch
 
The fourth set was an absolute cvnt
Every gram of muscle is a treasure hunt
 
Hadda strip plates to pyramid
Now I’m feeling like a flid
 
Legs like jelly, hobbling away
Thinking of a ¼ pounder at the golden archway
 
Moving on, the next exercise
As soon as the sweaty back dries
 
55 minutes have now elapsed
I’m still standing, but ass prolapsed
 
Lifting done, it’s cardio time
On the stairmaster I do climb
 
The target was 20 minute
Good thing today ain’t HIIT
 
90 mins in, I’ve had enough
Wondering if I’m looking buff
 
I go home with a hungry blank mind
To find dem divorce papers signed
 

The thing that got my slender calves firing a bit more was regular cycling In the hills focusing on using calves especially after a good Leg hammering. 
That and using the seated calf raise machine. 

Very few cycle, most stay on but say they’re off or on low doses. 

@AncientOldBloke will be the best at this

I’m not big into cycling so not really the right person to ask. I just have a Boardman Team Hybrid and an old Marin MTB. 
I’ve done up to 75mile road rides which at 112kg(at the time) isn’t bad going. 

Strangely I find covering distance and changes of scenery more motivating hence I’d go road bike. 
I have a Hybrid and a mountain bike, I only used the mountain bike to take the dog out when I was feeling lazy but she’s older now so doesn’t need to go so far. 

Now I’m back home from walking......
Maybe like at the Triban (I think it was the 3) from Decathlon, that used to get great reviews and compared with bikes in the £1,000 range. 
Buying second hand is awkward cos for all you know the components could be half bolloxed despite still riding ok. 
Pedals, maybe get these(obviously shop around). Can use cleats or flats. 
https://www.e-bikeshop.co.uk/shimano-spd-m324-pedals

Very few cycle, most stay on but say they’re off or on low doses. 

Very few cycle, most stay on but say they’re off or on low doses. 

Get a cleaner. We've got a lovely little blond Polish lass who comes round to clean every two weeks. Can only say about 10 words of English and she's miserable as sin but her jeans slip down every time she leans over and shows her little thongs. And she wears T-back vests with push up bras so there's always plenty of cleavage on show. Wife's happy the house gets cleaned, I'm happy my w4nk bank gets topped up once a fortnight. Win win.

I've only drunk on 2 occasions so far this year and I seem to get by. Have a look at the What are you watching thread for some good telly watching. The internet has a lot of girls who can't afford clothes - checking in on them can easily use up an hour or two.

I doubt he’s trying to impress teenagers. 

I doubt he’s trying to impress teenagers. 

You know what mate, in the last 8 years I’ve had a torn infraspinatus, snapped Radius, complete distal bicep tendon rupture and most recently, 2 torn front delts....maybe the IFBB will give me an invite!!!

Some pics from behind my back today....been 110kg for the last 4 weeks. Bf is definitely coming off, Strength is increasing and libido is in ‘surprise sex mode’....  and NO ai... gotta love E2!!!!

Sure. Can’t catch Aids twice apparently. 

That’s a great culture to be in, what’s your problem  You’ve got your mum and sister sending you girls round girls to sh* g 

I used to hide mine from my mum in my fishing tackle box haha..