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Old 30-04-2007, 05:46 AM   #31 (permalink)
Peg
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Bon Mot A Bit of Computer Command Levity
A bit of computer wit found online after dealing with a recalcitrant computer that went tits up on me at work.

A Guide to Man-Machine Interface

USER-FRIENDLY
C:\ DUR
Command not found. Try retyping

USER-HELPFUL
C:\ DUR
I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR ?

USER-UNFRIENDLY
C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR

USER-HOSTILE
C:\ DUR
Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.

USER-INDIFFERENT
C:\ DUR
DUR?

USER-PATRONIZING
C:\ DUR
Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.

USER-OBSEQUIOUS
C:\ DUR
I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.

USER-SARCASTIC
C:\ DUR
Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.

USER-INSULTING
C:\ DUR
F*ck off
C:\ DIR
F*ck off

USER-SMUG
C:\ DUR
No
C:\ DOR
Nope
C:\ HELP
No
C:\ PLEASE
Not unless you give me a 300Mb hard disk to live on.
C:\ B*ST*RD
Abuse will get you nowhere

USER-ANALYTICAL
C:\ DUR
What makes you say that?
C:\ A TYPING MISTAKE
How long have you been making these mistakes?
C:\ BANANAS
Do you like bananas?
C:\ I LOVE THEM
Why do you bring up the subject of love?
...etc

USER-McDONALD
May I help you please?
C:\ DUR
I'm sorry but that command is not available at this time. Have a nice day.
C:\ DIR
Will that be an MS-DOS directory?
C:\ YES
To read here, or for printout to take away?
C:\ HERE
Thank you. Have a nice day.

USER-MEGALOMANIAC
C:\ DUR
Don't bother me with trivial requests. I'm busy.
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Old 30-05-2007, 04:30 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Re: Slow site speed
Its very quick now

What browser are you using and what connection do you use (2mb/8mb/dial-up?)
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Old 30-05-2007, 05:57 PM   #33 (permalink)
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ainslie is a jewel in the roughainslie is a jewel in the roughainslie is a jewel in the rough
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Re: Slow site speed
lol you still never answered pauls question mate? How's he meant to help you otherwise
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Old 31-05-2007, 03:48 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Re: Slow site speed
Nice avatar Paul. I think that might be the best you have ever looked, not that I noticed.
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Old 31-05-2007, 08:32 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Re: Slow site speed
Quote:
Originally Posted by winger View Post
Nice avatar Paul. I think that might be the best you have ever looked, not that I noticed.
You gonna add that one to your "Wall of fame?"

Thanks mate
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Old 31-05-2007, 01:30 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Re: Slow site speed
Quote:
Originally Posted by UK Muscle View Post
You gonna add that one to your "Wall of fame?"

Thanks mate
You left out the L in fame mate.
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