Thread: do you need to have kids before you understand why......

Originally Posted by gemilky69

The world is a sh*t place to live in and l would ertainly not have had kids if l had realised the way things were going.

Really...you feel that way about your kids.....Not giving you sh!t, that just seemed like a odd statement...

Originally Posted by cellaratt

Really...you feel that way about your kids.....Not giving you sh!t, that just seemed like a odd statement...

Another attempt to mis represent me, let me explain fully.

I have 3 children all of which l would willing lay down my life for at any moment of any day HOWEVER when l was young and niave l thought l would be anle to provide mt children with everything l never had and everything they would need in life, deposit for a place to live, driving lessons, there first car etc NOW l find it difficult in this world to gaurantee even something as simple as there safety.

Had l realised the way the world was going l would not have brought them into a world which was not safe and they were destined to struggle thro life instead of enjoying it.

Now make of that what you want l really couldn't give a sh*t TBH l only ever wanted the best for my children.

I can understand both sides of the coin here, those that do not have kids can certainly feel 100% empathy for grieving parents and can be as sickened as anyone by news of a child in real trouble. I did before I had kids.

I also see that the feeling you get when you have a child although not any more intense is a different type of emotion. For some reason you tend to look at your own child and think "what if it was them" and this brings a different type of feeling of horror at the situation. No less intense but different. Don't know why parents do it but they do.

Perhaps there are people out there who feel this way about a close nephew or the like, I didn't until I had my first but that's just me. I was no less sickened by horror stories before kids, it's just a different emotion for me when I had them, my imagination plays havoc when I hear bad news.

Hope I don't make the debate worse but that's how i see it,

S

Slightly different topic but still about kids...

Does anybody find it incredibly annoying when in a nice restaurant having a meal and a family come and sit next to you with young children who spend the next 2 hrs being noisy and crying. This has happened on numerous occasions to me and it drives me up the fu(king wall. At one restaurant I stopped halfway through my meal and refused to pay the bill because my dinner was ruined and the restaurant wouldn't re-seat us. During my complaint I deliberately made sure that the family responsible heard exactly why I wasn't going to pay. Besides, feeding time is my favourite time of the day, and if I go out to a restaurant it usually means it's for a cheat meal, so I refuse to let some snot nosed kid ruin it because their parents are bunch of classless morons.

I don't have children of my own and I don't mind them in general but can all parents please take note that if you cannot control your child then do not take them to nice restaurants, if it was Maccy D's I could understand it, but when I'm paying decent money for a nice meal I expect to be able to chat to my girlfriend without having kids screaming constantly.

Rant Over!!

Originally Posted by gemilky69

Another attempt to mis represent me, let me explain fully.

I have 3 children all of which l would willing lay down my life for at any moment of any day HOWEVER when l was young and niave l thought l would be anle to provide mt children with everything l never had and everything they would need in life, deposit for a place to live, driving lessons, there first car etc NOW l find it difficult in this world to gaurantee even something as simple as there safety.

Had l realised the way the world was going l would not have brought them into a world which was not safe and they were destined to struggle thro life instead of enjoying it.

Now make of that what you want l really couldn't give a sh*t TBH l only ever wanted the best for my children.

Even I understand that one.......

Seems it's highly taboo to admit that you either regret having kids, or that with the benefit of hindsight, you wouldn't have had any, as if that means the person saying it is suddenly going to hate their kids overnight and harm them.....

It's the same as anything else, people are wishing they'd not bought such big houses, as if they'd known it was all going to go wrong....women everywhere wouldn't have got involved with certain men had they known what the future held etc etc..it's a normal human emotion.

I'd be more bothered by the people who have kids for their own selfish reasons (to trap a man, or keep one with them, for example), to get a bigger house and more benefits, to one-up their friends etc...nothing wrong with wanting the best for someone then being disappointed when circumstances beyond your control mean you can't provide it...

Originally Posted by scot.r111

I can understand both sides of the coin here, those that do not have kids can certainly feel 100% empathy for grieving parents and can be as sickened as anyone by news of a child in real trouble. I did before I had kids.

I also see that the feeling you get when you have a child although not any more intense is a different type of emotion. For some reason you tend to look at your own child and think "what if it was them" and this brings a different type of feeling of horror at the situation. No less intense but different. Don't know why parents do it but they do.

Perhaps there are people out there who feel this way about a close nephew or the like, I didn't until I had my first but that's just me. I was no less sickened by horror stories before kids, it's just a different emotion for me when I had them, my imagination plays havoc when I hear bad news.

Hope I don't make the debate worse but that's how i see it,

S

THANK YOU !!!!!

like I said...not giving you sh!t you obviously love your children... I've often wondered why I'm bringing children into this world and I think I understand what you are saying just the way you said it sounded odd to me...thats it...nothing else to it...you don't have to get defensive or any of that crap with me as I stated in my intial responce I was just looking for more clarification to you post...I don't know anything about you...and if I don't ask you questions I can't learn anything about you...see how that work..? ...

Originally Posted by cellaratt

like I said...not giving you sh!t you obviously love your children... I've often wondered why I'm bringing children into this world and I think I understand what you are saying just the way you said it sounded odd to me...thats it...nothing else to it...you don't have to get defensive or any of that crap with me as I stated in my intial responce I was just looking for more clarification to you post...I don't know anything about you...and if I don't ask you questions I can't learn anything about you...see how that work..? ...

Fair enough mate sorry for being defensive it genuinely breaks my heart knowing l cant give my kids the life l always strived to give them, sad l know, just makes me feel like l have failed them.

Originally Posted by cellaratt

Sorry if I missed something... I started to read this yesterday but then my son decided it was time to use me as his jungle gym and that lead to flying around the house like superman and then we practiced our numchakus routine for a while by then it was time to eat dinner so we sat down and I glanced back at this page before we headed to the shower and then it was time to settle in and visit with the misses, so I'm just getting back to this thread and didn't really feel like reading the whole thing again so my point may be all in vain if I missed something but to anyone who doesn't have kids and thinks they know what it's like have you ever experianced the feeling of knowing you will be leaving a legacy behind for if you have no children to pass along your blood you will end when you die but if you have the greatest experiance of giving life you live long after you have died...

I liked you better when you used full stops

Originally Posted by AlasTTTair

I liked you better when you used full stops.

Fixed

this has gone very deep and has turned to people saying about kids getting harmed

just because someone doesnt have kids doesnt mean that they dont understand that they will do anything to protect their kids dont take the pi55 by saying this and jumping on me giving me that bollox

i was simply wondering if it is a universal thing to do to take your very young kid into work on a boiling hot day for it (i dont know what sex it is) to cry at the top of its lungs and distract people who are already lazy enough

rant over

Originally Posted by davetherave

this has gone very deep and has turned to people saying about kids getting harmed

just because someone doesnt have kids doesnt mean that they dont understand that they will do anything to protect their kids dont take the pi55 by saying this and jumping on me giving me that bollox

i was simply wondering if it is a universal thing to do to take your very young kid into work on a boiling hot day for it (i dont know what sex it is) to cry at the top of its lungs and distract people who are already lazy enough

rant over

Yep, only came in at the point of deep debate. In answer to your question.....a photo in my wallet to show any/everyone I choose to show is enough. Mind I work around a 100m above the ground in wind turbines so it's not ideal for kids.

Although I have kids and love them dearly I don't particularly want to see everyone elses either.

sorry...I don't think I answered the question...It is forbidden for me to do it...my wife use to take our son to work with her once a week...I wouldn't want to bring them in even if I had the choice...picture's are as close as I want my co-workers to my family...