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  1. #1
    Willingly or unwillingly the debt must be paid.
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Inverness, Scotland
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    Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan

    Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.

    It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

    She's got a face that could make an onion cry.

    I wouldnae ride her into battle.

    everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege

    I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"

    mair chins than a chinese phone book

    ...face like a melted welly

    She smells like an alkies carpet

    she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician

    It's like shaggin a pail of water.

    It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!

    she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher

    fanny like a ripped out fireplace

    face like a sand blasted tomato

    **** like a bag a washing

    Your face could get a job haunting houses

    I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks

    She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant

    she's seen more helmets than Hitler

    The wheels turning but the hamsters died

    she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket

    face like a stuntman's knee

    She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab

    Cheers,

    G.
    "5 donuts...wot u havin?"

    I'm having abs Rob. I'm having being onstage in 2011, In a tiny wet look black thong. I'm having Jan Tana applied with a gloss paint roller. I'm having nads like pin heads in a bin bag. I'm having headaches, insomnia and pains in the soles of my feet. I'm having self doubt, blacking out when I stand up to quickly and rampant erectile disfunction. You enjoy those donuts son, cause I'm having "living the dream".

  2. #2
    working hard
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Wales
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    looking forward to using some of these tomorrow

  3. #3
    Geo
    Geo is offline
    UKBFF Scottish Classic Class Champ 2013
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ayrshire
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    PMSL!
    UKBFF Scottish Classic Class Champion 2013

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
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    1 times

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    haha love it

  5. #5
    fat ginger
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    saltcoats,ayrshire
    Posts
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    minted LMFAO

  6. #6
    Gym Addict
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    'shes got a fanny like a badly packed kebab'

    outstanding mate

  7. #7
    Commitment
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Preston
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    Haha.. Excellent..

    Also have wriiten some of these down for use tonight

  8. #8
    The Good...
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    8,851
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    18 times

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    ROFL those are awesome
    "Homosexuals can't swim, they attract enemy radar, they attract sharks, they nudge people when they're trying to shoot, they always insist on sitting at "The Captain's Table"... they muck about. Imagine... the fear... when you go to sleep with a gay man on board and think "Oh God, when I wake up, will everyone be dead?" You can't run a ship like that."

  9. #9
    Getting HUGE!
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
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    246 times

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    bangs like a ****-house door in a gale.

  10. #10
    Newbie Poster
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    Feb 2008
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    She's got a face that could make an onion cry.


    Classic!

  11. #11
    ..
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,553
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    What a bunch of onion bhaji's (gadgi's ha)

  12. #12
    Gobby
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Bedford
    Posts
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    4657 times
    Blog Entries
    181

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    Heh heh - badly packed kebabs still makes me laugh every time I hear it

    She's so fat her bath has stretch marks...


  13. #13
    Getting there
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
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    136 times

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    cracking qoutes good to here again!!!

    here is another one:

    From one Scot to another.......(in most cases)
    <TT>You know you are a true Scot if...........</TT>
    <TT>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,</TT>
    <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address style="BACKGROUND-POSITION: left bottom; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(res://ietag.dll/#34/#1001); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat-x" tabIndex=0 w:st="on"><TT>Sauchiehall St</TT></st1:address></st1:Street><TT>, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.</TT>

    <TT>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.</TT>
    <TT>3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.</TT>
    <TT>4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer</TT>
    <TT>blootert.</TT>

    <TT>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.</TT>
    <TT>6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories pure</TT>
    <TT>class!</TT>

    <TT>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.</TT>
    <TT>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,</TT>
    <TT>in yer ain family.</TT>

    <TT>9. Ye go tae <st1:place w:st="on">North Berwick</st1:place> cos ye think it is like gaun tae the</TT>
    <TT>ocean.</TT>

    <TT>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.</TT>
    <TT>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.</TT>
    <TT>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding</TT>
    <TT>day date.</TT>

    <TT>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the</TT>
    <TT>Church/Chapel.</TT>

    <TT>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,</TT>
    <TT>iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.</TT>

    <TT>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.</TT>
    <TT>16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.</TT>
    <TT>17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.</TT>
    <TT>18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals</TT>
    <TT>.</TT>

    <TT>19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these</TT>
    <TT>words;</TT>

    <TT>How's it hingin</TT>
    TT>

    Clatty
    Boggin
    Cludgie
    Pished
    Get it up ye
    Wee beasties
    Erse bandit
    Amurny
    Away and bile yer heid
    Peely-wally
    Humphey backit
    Ba-heid
    Baw bag
    Dubble nugget
    Last edited by amurphy; 22-04-2008 at 11:59 AM.

  14. #14
    Looking Freaky
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    quality - reps!

  15. #15
    Aspiring Champion
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    535
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    44 times

    Re: Scottish Insults for your enjoyment

    ahh reps reps reps

    SHIZ I NEVER REALISED! wee G youre scottish O.O beastin!!!
    Last edited by squalllion1uk; 22-04-2008 at 07:42 PM.

 

 
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