Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) - UK-Muscle Body Building Community

Flabby_Abbie · 04-03-2008, 08:43 PM

I bust the zip on my favourite pair of cords this morning as I was trying to do them up (I have several pairs, all the same size (8), but this one has always been tighter than the others - go figure as our Yank friends would say)) so I thought "Bugger it! I'm going to sign up for the gym again!" Now, because I am disabled (and on disability benefits) I qualify for a 30% discount off the Gold membership (and only the gold membership - they won't discount the silver, so much for the tagline being "Accessible fitness for every body"; the Gold is £50pcm, the Silver, £35. The difference between the two is that the latter is off-peak only (between 9 & 7 and all weekend), so the discount makes the Gold £35pcm. You can pay for an entire year (£550/£385 concession) but I can't really afford that much up-front.

I was all ready to fill in the membership form, when something hit me - transport! Now, I don't drive (because I don't have a licence but, even if I did, I couldn't afford to run a car) so I am reliant on public transport.

So, I did the sums: - if I was to go just 3 times a week each session would cost me £6.62 (£2.92 for the gym + £3.70 for the return bus ticket). Multiply that by 12 (for the number of sessions every 4 weeks) and the total monthly cost is an eye-watering £79.44! If they offered concessions on Silver membership (which would make it £24.50pcm) then it would still be prohibitive at £68.94pcm.

No-one has believed me when I said that I couldn't afford gym membership - now you understand why. It's got nothing to do with the gym, but the cost of public transport. I have a friend, who lives in Manchester and she's on the same combo of benefits as I am; she qualifies for free bus travel under Manchester City Council's rules. I, OTOH, am governed by Bucks County Council and I do not. The rules here are ridiculous (I've spoken to the bloke in charge of travel concessions and he has confirmed what I am about to tell you). The rules state that, to qualify, you must be in receipt of DLA higher rate mobility and/or be blind, deaf, dumb, 'mobility impaired' or, and this is the most ridiculous bit, have a learning disability.

When I spoke to the bloke in charge of making the decisions, I asked whether someone who was dyslexic would qualify and was told "yes". Now, before you all start jumping on me, I know that dyslexia can be a condition that can blight someone's life quite severely (I have a friend whose youngest brother is very severely dyslexic - and I mean very severely - yet he is the MD of a large(ish) firm making very precise technical components and he earns a very good salary, i.e. his disability hasn't held him back, because he's not allowed it to. Yet, under BCC's rules, if he lived round these parts, he would qualify for free travel). Indeed my Manchester friend is severely dyslexic (but she qualifies due to the fact she has early-onset arthritis) and she didn't believe me when I told her that a dyslexic would qualify (she would never dream of using it as a mitigating factor for free travel) but I would not. She didn't see how being dyslexic alone could prohibit someone holding down a job and not being able to pay for transport.

And it doesn't appear that the dyslexia has to be very severe; provided the person applying had a certificate stating that (s)he was dyslexic, they'd qualify. Whereas I, suffering from BPD (which does prevent me from holding down a job) does not. The ironic thing is, if I was in receipt of DLA mobility higher rate, I'd be able to afford the bus fare anyway (lower rate is about £17.50pw, higher is 2.5 times that).

I have spent the past hour crying in frustration because I can afford the membership fee! I would do ANYTHING to get down there again (it's rather too far to walk, though - and I'd be knackered by the time I got there!) as I feel that, if I had an instructor guiding me - or someone who knew what they were on about - then I'd be progressing (rather than going backwards as I am now).

My weight (or rather flab) is the bane of my life, and the cause of much of my depression. I would much rather be in a gym, with people to motivate me and push me because I know that, left to my own devices, I'm guaranteed to fail. I need instruction.

I don't expect anyone to be able to help, I just feel so angry, frustratedand miserable.

Sarah

SCJP · 04-03-2008, 08:54 PM

You don't need to go to the gym if your aim is to lose fat.

You can do cardio at home & make sure you get your diet sorted. Apply a little discipline & patience & you'll be fine.

All the guidance you need can be accessed via this site & it won't cost you a penny.

bulkaholic · 04-03-2008, 09:01 PM

Hi Sarah,

Is that right you are worried about a size 8 pair of trousers being tight

To be honest looking at your posts you are very negative towards yourself.

Do you suffer an eating disorder? if too personal please tell me to fcuk off. I ask as it sounds as though you do (far from an expert though and could be talking total ****e)

After reading your previous posts you have already achieved great things with weight loss and more than most ever do.

cheers

colin

wogihao · 04-03-2008, 09:19 PM

I dont drive myself, you need to find a buddy to go with you to the gym. thats what i did. Send one of your friends or a family member of a guilt trip or find someone near you thats into the gym and blag the lift - offer them somthing in return and they should be golden.

Good luck with the weight loss - try and be positive about it and things will be much easyer! Plus with a training partner is much easyer to stick to a exersise plan.

Flabby_Abbie · 06-03-2008, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulkaholic

Hi Sarah,

Is that right you are worried about a size 8 pair of trousers being tight

I'm female (looks like the only female by all accounts) - we worry about things like that. Look, I'll level with you, mate. I have a condition known as PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) the symptoms of which are as follows: -

irregular periods or lack of periods
irregular ovulation or no ovulation
reduced fertility; difficulty in becoming pregnant
recurrent miscarriages
unwanted facial and or body hair (hirsutism)
oily skin, acne
being overweight, rapid weight gain; difficulty in losing weight

It is the last one that terrifies me the most (though I don't relish looking like Brian Blessed much, either, I can keep the beard at bay relatively effectively (though I am saving for a Phillips arcitec - yes, it's a bloke's shaver, but PCOS gives you bloke's facial hair).

So terrified am I of putting the weight back on that it keeps me awake at night (or, if it doesn't, then I dream about it. When I was at school, and even into adulthood, I was known as Jabba for reasons which, I hope, are patently obvious).

My weight peaked at 23st in the summer of '04. I am not tall (5'6") so you can imagine my BMI. My ever-so-sympathetic GP refused to test me for PCOS (until I practically throttled him) and, even when the test proved positive, he refused to acknowledge that I had it. PCOS is (and I quote) "a condition dreamt up by obese women as an excuse to stay fat". Nice, huh...?)

I came here for a reason. I came here because I want to perfect myself. I want to look good. I do not work (nor shall I ever be capable of working) I have no friends in this deity forsaken town. This is my one solitary focus; I guess you could say that I'm trying to run as far away from the old me as possible (well, it's not difficult, she can barely walk, let alone run). I have no life, so I am trying to find one (and, yes, I've checked down the back of the sofa, it's not there. Nor is it under the stairs, at the back of the wardrobe or in the shed). For the 60/90 minutes I'm exercising, I feel good (and I don't care if that's 'cause of the ECA, I feel good). I can just stick my DAB/iPod on and forget about everything/one that's caused/is causing me pain. Yeah, it might it me like a tsunami when the ECA wears off but, I don't care - I can deal with that (just!)

Yes, I know I'm ****ed up - you don't need to tell me that, but I am addicted to becoming the best (physical) me I can possibly be; take this away from me and I have nothing. I have lost £200pcm off my disability, so I have lost the means I had to go away, so I am stuck with this as the only means to take me away from the black hole that threatens to eviscerate me.

To be honest looking at your posts you are very negative towards yourself.

Yeah, well, it's damned ****ing hard to feel pretty when you have a permanent 5 o'clock shadow. And it's not just my face, either; you look at yourself in the mirror (okay, I guess you probably shave/wax most bodybuilders I know of do; but imagine all the usual places that you have body hair - and then imagine that hair transferred to a woman. I can't wear low cut tops in the summer, I can't reveal my arms or legs and I try to hide my neck as much as possible with rollneck sweaters) Okay, so it's not life threatening in the sense of 'it's going to kill me', but it is life threatening in the sense of 'because of it I have no life'. I have had 2 relationships and both blokes decided to dump me after I allowed them to see me au naturelle. Well one because of that, the second because I couldn't give him the Union team he wanted (and I would have liked too, if I'm honest- it'd have had to have been a mixed team, though...).

Do you suffer an eating disorder? if too personal please tell me to fcuk off. I ask as it sounds as though you do (far from an expert though and could be talking total ****e).

Mate, I'll talk to anyone about anything. I don't have a recognised ED, I do say I'm eating disordered. I'm bi-polar and this means that I am, very often, unable to organise myself to prepare proper meals (hence the term). Today, I almost managed it (I say almost, because the scrambled eggs were rather cold and leathery - but it was more right than I'd got it before; the beans were hot, the bacon cooked to perfection and the toast was still warm).

I can't cope with things that require different cooking times. For example, sometimes on Friday evenings, I'll treat myself to fishcakes (yes, they're bought, but they're M&S and they're 80% fish - either salmon, haddock, tuna, cod or mackerel; I usually have a packet of each in the freezer (at least I used to; the main freezer has gone TU and my mother's trying to source a fridge/freezer with a larger freezer compartment at a reasonable price and I'll have 2 different ones; last Friday it was salmon and mackerel, tomorrow it could be tuna and haddock) and 100g-worth of their oven chips and a very large salad (rocket, watercress, red chard, spinach, lollo rosso, coriander, basil, mint, chives and chopped cherry tomatoes). My only downfall is the heaped teaspoon of tartare sauce.

Sorry, I'm rambling again. That's because it's 3:40am and I can't sleep - as per usual.

No, you're right, I'm probably not in the best place of mind to get everything co-ordinated (diet/exercise/supps, etc) but I have got to try. I want to keep as much distance between me and Jabba as humanly possible.

After reading your previous posts you have already achieved great things with weight loss and more than most ever do.

So, your point being? That's the past tense. I am NOT giving up. There is no way I am going to allow this damned disorder to make me obese again (and there's no way I'm going back on the slimming tabs. I wouldn't wish Xenical on anyone, no matter how much they had to lose. You look up the side-effects).

cheers

colin

Cheers, Col - your post means a lot to me. Thanks for taking the trouble to reply.

Sarah
xxxxxxxx

Flabby_Abbie · 06-03-2008, 03:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wogihao

I dont drive myself, you need to find a buddy to go with you to the gym. thats what i did. Send one of your friends or a family member of a guilt trip or find someone near you thats into the gym and blag the lift - offer them somthing in return and they should be golden.

Send one of my friends. Well, I only have the one and she's 250 miles away and caring for her terminally-ill husband. I'm glad making - and keeping - friends comes so easily to you. I am envious.

Good luck with the weight loss - try and be positive about it and things will be much easyer! Plus with a training partner is much easyer to stick to a exersise plan.

With all due respect, I don't much care for being told to "cheer up". I have BPD, this is me and this is how I'm going to be. How can I possibly find an "exersise partner" [sic]?!

I know you meant well, but I'm not in a very good place right now...

Sarah

chrisj22 · 06-03-2008, 08:10 AM

Abbie,

You clearly have issues that need addressing. I'm perplexed as to why you think this is a 'male only forum' - there are other females members on the board - fair enough, they may not post as often as males, but they do view the site on a daily basis.

On your very first post, Paul provided you with a diet - have you started it?

Male, female, indifferent; the majority of members on this forum can openly talk about anything without feeling embarrased. Yeah, there is the odd numbskull who will put you down, but they end up getting banned, so please don't worry.

Keep your chin up & stay strong.

Good luck.

wogihao · 06-03-2008, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flabby_Abbie

With all due respect, I don't much care for being told to "cheer up". I have BPD, this is me and this is how I'm going to be. How can I possibly find an "exersise partner" [sic]?!

I know you meant well, but I'm not in a very good place right now...

Sarah

If it were me, I would post on crag's list (is that how you spell it im dislexic

) for a training partner, my friend used gum tree to find his training partner in london, im not sure if its avalible where you are though.

Aside from that there are a number of members from your neck of the woods, why not post on this forum and see if anyones free to be your training partner.

:beer1:

TH&S · 06-03-2008, 01:21 PM

Is money is an issue, train at home.

YetiMan · 06-03-2008, 01:28 PM

How far is the gym? I looked quickly over your post and could not see the answer - in lesson and have finished the lab and waiting for every one to catch up :(

My gym is 3 miles away and the bus fair for that is around £3 odd quid. I walk - great extra cardio!

megatron · 06-03-2008, 01:38 PM

TBH get a job and stop moaining that you don't get enough free money to go to the gym... If I had my way you wouldn't get anything.

lol, apologies, I missed the part where you mention you are disabled. It's a bad day today.

Ecksarmy11 · 06-03-2008, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megatron

TBH get a job and stop moaining that you don't get enough free money to go to the gym... If I had my way you wouldn't get anything.

lol, apologies, I missed the part where you mention you are disabled. It's a bad day today.

You're all heart you are Megatron !!:love:

am1ev1l · 06-03-2008, 02:24 PM

Hey sarah,

Sorry to hear that you're down.

I think I may be able to help, I may have a lot of the answers - I don't want to type my experiences on here as I don't want anyone close to me knowing I use steroids (I know its silly but that's my business). But lets just say I have gone through this with a person very close to me.
If you pm me, I will tell you what'll help the the side effects of the PCOS and the ED and how this person got through it. You sound exactly like she did at the start, help is there but sadly its not often given unless you demad it.

Liam · 06-03-2008, 03:01 PM

find a closer gym?

Flabby_Abbie · 06-03-2008, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megatron

TBH get a job and stop moaining that you don't get enough free money to go to the gym... If I had my way you wouldn't get anything.

lol, apologies, I missed the part where you mention you are disabled. It's a bad day today.

LOL!?! Mocking a disabled person amuses you, does it?! This is NOT any kind of lifestyle choice, I can assure you. I long for the days when I was able to work! If you weren't a million miles away (and biggerer and strongerer than me) I'd come over there and kick your fecking head in!

Maybe you'd like my life for a week, then see how you feel about it!

:axe::axe::rage::rage::gun::gun::axe::ax e:

Does the above adequately express how ****ed off I am with you right now...?

I would accept your apology if it was sincere - but it wasn't.

Sarah

04-03-2008, 08:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Flabby_Abbie Newbie Trainer Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 33	Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) I bust the zip on my favourite pair of cords this morning as I was trying to do them up (I have several pairs, all the same size (8), but this one has always been tighter than the others - go figure as our Yank friends would say)) so I thought "Bugger it! I'm going to sign up for the gym again!" Now, because I am disabled (and on disability benefits) I qualify for a 30% discount off the Gold membership (and only the gold membership - they won't discount the silver, so much for the tagline being "Accessible fitness for every body"; the Gold is £50pcm, the Silver, £35. The difference between the two is that the latter is off-peak only (between 9 & 7 and all weekend), so the discount makes the Gold £35pcm. You can pay for an entire year (£550/£385 concession) but I can't really afford that much up-front. I was all ready to fill in the membership form, when something hit me - transport! Now, I don't drive (because I don't have a licence but, even if I did, I couldn't afford to run a car) so I am reliant on public transport. So, I did the sums: - if I was to go just 3 times a week each session would cost me £6.62 (£2.92 for the gym + £3.70 for the return bus ticket). Multiply that by 12 (for the number of sessions every 4 weeks) and the total monthly cost is an eye-watering £79.44! If they offered concessions on Silver membership (which would make it £24.50pcm) then it would still be prohibitive at £68.94pcm. No-one has believed me when I said that I couldn't afford gym membership - now you understand why. It's got nothing to do with the gym, but the cost of public transport. I have a friend, who lives in Manchester and she's on the same combo of benefits as I am; she qualifies for free bus travel under Manchester City Council's rules. I, OTOH, am governed by Bucks County Council and I do not. The rules here are ridiculous (I've spoken to the bloke in charge of travel concessions and he has confirmed what I am about to tell you). The rules state that, to qualify, you must be in receipt of DLA higher rate mobility and/or be blind, deaf, dumb, 'mobility impaired' or, and this is the most ridiculous bit, have a learning disability. When I spoke to the bloke in charge of making the decisions, I asked whether someone who was dyslexic would qualify and was told "yes". Now, before you all start jumping on me, I know that dyslexia can be a condition that can blight someone's life quite severely (I have a friend whose youngest brother is very severely dyslexic - and I mean very severely - yet he is the MD of a large(ish) firm making very precise technical components and he earns a very good salary, i.e. his disability hasn't held him back, because he's not allowed it to. Yet, under BCC's rules, if he lived round these parts, he would qualify for free travel). Indeed my Manchester friend is severely dyslexic (but she qualifies due to the fact she has early-onset arthritis) and she didn't believe me when I told her that a dyslexic would qualify (she would never dream of using it as a mitigating factor for free travel) but I would not. She didn't see how being dyslexic alone could prohibit someone holding down a job and not being able to pay for transport. And it doesn't appear that the dyslexia has to be very severe; provided the person applying had a certificate stating that (s)he was dyslexic, they'd qualify. Whereas I, suffering from BPD (which does prevent me from holding down a job) does not. The ironic thing is, if I was in receipt of DLA mobility higher rate, I'd be able to afford the bus fare anyway (lower rate is about £17.50pw, higher is 2.5 times that). I have spent the past hour crying in frustration because I can afford the membership fee! I would do ANYTHING to get down there again (it's rather too far to walk, though - and I'd be knackered by the time I got there!) as I feel that, if I had an instructor guiding me - or someone who knew what they were on about - then I'd be progressing (rather than going backwards as I am now). My weight (or rather flab) is the bane of my life, and the cause of much of my depression. I would much rather be in a gym, with people to motivate me and push me because I know that, left to my own devices, I'm guaranteed to fail. I need instruction. I don't expect anyone to be able to help, I just feel so angry, frustratedand miserable. Sarah

04-03-2008, 08:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
SCJP Looking Freaky Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: SW Herts Posts: 896	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) You don't need to go to the gym if your aim is to lose fat. You can do cardio at home & make sure you get your diet sorted. Apply a little discipline & patience & you'll be fine. All the guidance you need can be accessed via this site & it won't cost you a penny.

04-03-2008, 09:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
bulkaholic Looking Freaky Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 570	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) Hi Sarah, Is that right you are worried about a size 8 pair of trousers being tight To be honest looking at your posts you are very negative towards yourself. Do you suffer an eating disorder? if too personal please tell me to fcuk off. I ask as it sounds as though you do (far from an expert though and could be talking total ****e) After reading your previous posts you have already achieved great things with weight loss and more than most ever do. cheers colin

04-03-2008, 09:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
wogihao Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 2,362	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) I dont drive myself, you need to find a buddy to go with you to the gym. thats what i did. Send one of your friends or a family member of a guilt trip or find someone near you thats into the gym and blag the lift - offer them somthing in return and they should be golden. Good luck with the weight loss - try and be positive about it and things will be much easyer! Plus with a training partner is much easyer to stick to a exersise plan.

06-03-2008, 01:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
TH&S #1 Bob Nutcher Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,258	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) Is money is an issue, train at home. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. \| To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. D: 220 \| B: 110 \| S: 170 \| Target: 550

06-03-2008, 01:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
YetiMan Thor "The Hammer" Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Aldershot Posts: 1,744	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) How far is the gym? I looked quickly over your post and could not see the answer - in lesson and have finished the lab and waiting for every one to catch up :( My gym is 3 miles away and the bus fair for that is around £3 odd quid. I walk - great extra cardio!

06-03-2008, 02:24 PM	#13 (permalink)
am1ev1l Newbie Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 211	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) Hey sarah, Sorry to hear that you're down. I think I may be able to help, I may have a lot of the answers - I don't want to type my experiences on here as I don't want anyone close to me knowing I use steroids (I know its silly but that's my business). But lets just say I have gone through this with a person very close to me. If you pm me, I will tell you what'll help the the side effects of the PCOS and the ED and how this person got through it. You sound exactly like she did at the start, help is there but sadly its not often given unless you demad it. __________________ ========================== :frusty:

06-03-2008, 03:01 PM	#14 (permalink)
Liam Learning and Improving. Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Newcastle / Hull Posts: 1,187	Re: Gym-related rant (well more bus-fare related, really) find a closer gym?

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