Nine Pack

My wife sent me this:

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying '%@&* YOU!'

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong' - for the woman's response refer to #3.

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''I reject your reality and substitute my own''
Adam Savage.

megatron

So true!

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I feel that life is too short to worry about upsetting the general consensus when one thinks against the grain. I will speak my mind truthfully, even if it means making enemies. Although you may disagree with me - it is all simply opinion, no right or wrong. I won't lie to anyone in order to be accepted by the noisy majority otherwise I sacrifice my credability. If you choose to hate me as a result that is your issue not mine.

"He who stands with me shall be my brother"

Fight against NAMBLA:
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TH&S

My favourite is when its 20minutes before you're due to go out to dinner and they give you jip about lying on the sofa scratching your scrotum and picking your nose, so you dive upstairs, sh!t, shower, shave and get dressed and apply that aftershave she likes and you are still ready before she is...

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D: 220 | B: 110 | S: 170 | Target: 550

ARNIE

yeah all are correct,and now i know why i get so wound up any time she,s in its cause she talks in riddles

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<><><><><><>wow<><><><><><>

Magic Torch

My missus is like that, she thinks that the world is on her clock, like if I need a lift to the train station I say we need to go in 5mins, in 5mins she is just starting to brush her teeth....I 'm like I need to go my trian will be there...shes like in a minute in a minute.....FFS LIKE THE TRAIN IS GONNA WAIT AT THE PLATFORM 5MINS FOR ME TO TURN UP YOU F'IN BINT! At which point she gets the hump....

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TH&S

I feel your pain.

Your missus is always going to me "You've got 5mins to finish me off before Magic's train gets into the station!"

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D: 220 | B: 110 | S: 170 | Target: 550

Incredible Bulk

i dont want any side orders...i'll just nibble on yours

nibble? more like devour and horde

Magic Torch

Have you seen my missus?!? God she is more ugly than my mum, and a worse shag....

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TH&S

Curiously, your mum did say you weren't the best in the sack ...

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D: 220 | B: 110 | S: 170 | Target: 550

Spartan301

Lmao

Magic Torch mate you walked right into that one.

gym rat

i fooking hate that, really gets on my nerves, you ask if she wants something to eat... she says no so you make yourself something then the bitch eats half your grub, and they only seem to lift the nice stuff like the chicken or bit of steak