Respect - UK-Muscle Body Building Community

Tatyana · 28-08-2006, 01:35 PM

Do any of you take your kids in the gym with you?

What would you do if a personal trainer called you a FAT See You Next Tuesday in front of your little ones, and then they repeated it back and said "Daddy, that man called you a bad name"?

There is a personal trainer in my gym that thinks that it is ok to slag people off like this.

Never to their face, just little passing comments.

He is supposedly into the whole MMA thing.

I wasn't going to do anything, however I am sick of bullies and mean peeps, and I know the little girl in question, whom I adore.

And also telling me to whack him with a dumbell is not really the sort of answer I was looking for.

x
x
x

T

I am so tempted to put up his homepage link on this site!

BIG-UNC · 28-08-2006, 01:41 PM

try ignoring him T hes obviously a t!t!!

and a two faced b@start that doesnt really care about the people he trains he more than likely gets help off others so he knows what to tell them!!

pookie69 · 28-08-2006, 02:34 PM

ANOTHER DUMB NEWBIE QUESTION

What is MMA ?

**robdog** · 28-08-2006, 02:58 PM

Mixed Martial Arts mate.

If it were me i would report him.

Captain Hero · 28-08-2006, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pookie69

ANOTHER DUMB NEWBIE QUESTION

What is MMA ?

MMA - Mixed Martial Arts

pookie69 · 28-08-2006, 03:17 PM

Thanks guys.

Maybe the trainer thinks by saying belittling things to ppl he's helping to motivate them - ? I know i'm always telling myself i'm not good enough!

... :(

But seriously - erm, i guess it's not so cool to do that in front of someone's kids though. And not very cool on the whole unless you are sure that by calling someone names you are in fact motivating them and not just making them feel like crap.

Peg · 28-08-2006, 03:26 PM

Good point Pookie. Very good point.

Tatyana,
Is the man fat?
Don't kid yourself. The little girl knows already that dad is fat if indeed he is. My kids knew that I was fat and kids can be more brutal and honest than adults sometimes.

To be told you are fat is just being honest. I would appreciate someone who I trust my training to be honest with me.
To slag in passing comments and not while training only hurts the personal trainer's credibility and is not good business.

I've been in a similar situation with my own kids. He's not ever called me names but he has said things in passing that would be considered slagging, I think. My children asked me why do I let him do that. I told them, his words only control me if I let them. He words do not offend nor hurt me because I understand why he says them. I chose to love him. I chose to have control over my emotions.

My children learned a very good lesson. In fact the whole school did.

The parents and students saw it as well.
The man is much more atuned to NOT slagging as a result but he found his answers on his own terms by himself with others telling him that the way he treated me was not right nor good for business.

No, I did not take any abuse from him nor let him walk all over me, lol.. simply because I chose to see it as not abusive but as an opportunity to teach him and my children about love and patience... two things he needed in his life and two things my children needed to learn to be better adults. Sometimes it is better to have patience in these things and let the person hang himself... It means more to him that way because then he has a personal stake in it.
My example of peace and love spoke louder to those around me than any words I could say in rebuke that would only bring me down to his level.

There is a time for confrontation, there is a time for patience humility.

Pure MA would teach the trainer to be tough on the man to strengthen the man's resolve and spirit to do battle with the enemy, which is the fat, and win.
But to slag him while not in training is poor discipline on the trainer's part and please don't make any assumptions or connection that his slagging is due to the MA that I know.

I can't comment on what is taught to the heart and spirit in MMA but I do know MA.
I like the saying "To get respect you must give respect." It is not the other way around, that being, "You give me respect and I will give you respect." but instead it is the idea that if you want respect then you must give it, first. You can take that even higher and say to yourself I will give respect to anyone even if they do not give respect to me.

I would suggest that you should tell the man that he won't keep his customers for very long if that is how he treats them when not training them.
Everyone sees it, not just you, and it makes him look bad. Tell him that and see what he does.

No one wants to look bad.

Tatyana · 28-08-2006, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peg

Good point Pookie. Very good point.

Tatyana,
Is the man fat?
Don't kid yourself. The little girl knows already that dad is fat if indeed he is. My kids knew that I was fat and kids can be more brutal and honest than adults sometimes.

To be told you are fat is just being honest. I would appreciate someone who I trust my training to be honest with me.
To slag in passing comments and not while training only hurts the personal trainer's credibility and is not good business.

I've been in a similar situation with my own kids. He's not ever called me names but he has said things in passing that would be considered slagging, I think. My children asked me why do I let him do that. I told them, his words only control me if I let them. He words do not offend nor hurt me because I understand why he says them. I chose to love him. I chose to have control over my emotions.

My children learned a very good lesson. In fact the whole school did.

The parents and students saw it as well.
The man is much more atuned to NOT slagging as a result but he found his answers on his own terms by himself with others telling him that the way he treated me was not right nor good for business.

No, I did not take any abuse from him nor let him walk all over me, lol.. simply because I chose to see it as not abusive but as an opportunity to teach him and my children about love and patience... two things he needed in his life and two things my children needed to learn to be better adults. Sometimes it is better to have patience in these things and let the person hang himself... It means more to him that way because then he has a personal stake in it.
My example of peace and love spoke louder to those around me than any words I could say in rebuke that would only bring me down to his level.

There is a time for confrontation, there is a time for patience humility.

Pure MA would teach the trainer to be tough on the man to strengthen the man's resolve and spirit to do battle with the enemy, which is the fat, and win.
But to slag him while not in training is poor discipline on the trainer's part and please don't make any assumptions or connection that his slagging is due to the MA that I know.

I can't comment on what is taught to the heart and spirit in MMA but I do know MA.
I like the saying "To get respect you must give respect." It is not the other way around, that being, "You give me respect and I will give you respect." but instead it is the idea that if you want respect then you must give it, first. You can take that even higher and say to yourself I will give respect to anyone even if they do not give respect to me.

I would suggest that you should tell the man that he won't keep his customers for very long if that is how he treats them when not training them.
Everyone sees it, not just you, and it makes him look bad. Tell him that and see what he does.

No one wants to look bad.

I think it was the C*NT comment I was more concerned about.

x
x
x

T

John · 28-08-2006, 04:39 PM

he may be into the whole mma thing have to do with being rude, he is clearly just that, and he obviously gets results with his clients or he wouldnt have any, heres an idea dont let it bother you, you kno sticks and stones and all, or heres another dont involve yourself in other peoples affairs.

Captain Hero · 28-08-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John

he may be into the whole mma thing have to do with being rude, he is clearly just that, and he obviously gets results with his clients or he wouldnt have any, heres an idea dont let it bother you, you kno sticks and stones and all, or heres another dont involve yourself in other peoples affairs.

Agree with John! :beer1:

John · 28-08-2006, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cap

Agree with John! :beer1:

someone else who has either agreed with me or learnt from me in one day, sh1t i must be getting good.

Peg · 28-08-2006, 06:27 PM

Tatyana, I missed the c*nt comment.

Somethings need to be said about rudeness for the sake of common decency and good manners. If we don't speak up then nothing changes.

My MA instructor can be rude to provoke for better training and teaching how to control the emotions, but he will never be vulgar or profane in mixed company or when children are around. That is just good manners. There is no excuse for bad manners.

If Tatyana is training at the same time and can over hear it and be offended by it, it will matter to the gym owners who want to keep ALL their clients.

In my case, the other parents and students were offended by it and did say something to him... some also left the school because of his mannerisms.

I'd at least ask the gym owners if they are aware of his open rudeness.

I might ask the trainer why he does that. Ask him strictly for training purposes talking to him in regards to training motivations not that he is being rude. Find out why he trains that way and why he thinks it is effective.

**Robsta** · 28-08-2006, 06:33 PM

T...If I were you I'd pull him up in front of everyone,...ask him what he meant by his comments, and go from there....he can't go mad at you because no offence, I doubt he would try and get hard on a woman.......so he would have to explain himself, and if what he says isn't good enough then tell him what you think of him.....plain and simple.....the best way to beat bullies is ridicule them in front of others.....
If it was me though I'd pull him up in front of people and tell him if I hear him doing it again, then I'll be having a word in his shell, but from your point of view.....pull him up in front of everyone and ask him what he meant by his comments, and then just give your opinion....

Tatyana · 28-08-2006, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robsta9

T...If I were you I'd pull him up in front of everyone,...ask him what he meant by his comments, and go from there....he can't go mad at you because no offence, I doubt he would try and get hard on a woman.......so he would have to explain himself, and if what he says isn't good enough then tell him what you think of him.....plain and simple.....the best way to beat bullies is ridicule them in front of others.....
If it was me though I'd pull him up in front of people and tell him if I hear him doing it again, then I'll be having a word in his shell, but from your point of view.....pull him up in front of everyone and ask him what he meant by his comments, and then just give your opinion....

He does scare me a bit, and when I have tried to have a quiet word with him he has told me to "FC-UK off I don't have time for fat FC-UKs" in those words more or less exactly.

I didn't say everything that has gone on, as the whole thing does involve me really. I have been staying out of the entire situation! I sort of feel responsible.

It is just involving the kiddies!

x
x
x

T

**Robsta** · 28-08-2006, 06:42 PM

Well it's up to you then hunny.....if you want to get involved then get involved...if you want to stay out then stay out.....I'm sure you've got some big hunks of beef chasing you round the gym all day who'd love to do you a favour!!!!lol

28-08-2006, 01:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tatyana My name is EARL Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On my bloody bike doing cardio Posts: 3,477	Respect Do any of you take your kids in the gym with you? What would you do if a personal trainer called you a FAT See You Next Tuesday in front of your little ones, and then they repeated it back and said "Daddy, that man called you a bad name"? There is a personal trainer in my gym that thinks that it is ok to slag people off like this. Never to their face, just little passing comments. He is supposedly into the whole MMA thing. I wasn't going to do anything, however I am sick of bullies and mean peeps, and I know the little girl in question, whom I adore. And also telling me to whack him with a dumbell is not really the sort of answer I was looking for. x x x T I am so tempted to put up his homepage link on this site!

28-08-2006, 04:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
John EFBB Winner Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 4,244	what does the fact that he may be into the whole mma thing have to do with being rude, he is clearly just that, and he obviously gets results with his clients or he wouldnt have any, heres an idea dont let it bother you, you kno sticks and stones and all, or heres another dont involve yourself in other peoples affairs.

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28-08-2006, 01:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
BIG-UNC IF YOU BUILD IT.....THEY WILL COME! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: middlesbrough Posts: 1,945	try ignoring him T hes obviously a t!t!! and a two faced b@start that doesnt really care about the people he trains he more than likely gets help off others so he knows what to tell them!!

28-08-2006, 02:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
pookie69 Robot In Disguise Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: London Posts: 201	ANOTHER DUMB NEWBIE QUESTION What is MMA ?

28-08-2006, 02:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
robdog UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Home!! Posts: 5,813	Mixed Martial Arts mate. If it were me i would report him.

28-08-2006, 03:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
pookie69 Robot In Disguise Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: London Posts: 201	Thanks guys. Maybe the trainer thinks by saying belittling things to ppl he's helping to motivate them - ? I know i'm always telling myself i'm not good enough! ... :( But seriously - erm, i guess it's not so cool to do that in front of someone's kids though. And not very cool on the whole unless you are sure that by calling someone names you are in fact motivating them and not just making them feel like crap.

28-08-2006, 03:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
Peg Getting HUGE! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,467	Good point Pookie. Very good point. Tatyana, Is the man fat? Don't kid yourself. The little girl knows already that dad is fat if indeed he is. My kids knew that I was fat and kids can be more brutal and honest than adults sometimes. To be told you are fat is just being honest. I would appreciate someone who I trust my training to be honest with me. To slag in passing comments and not while training only hurts the personal trainer's credibility and is not good business. I've been in a similar situation with my own kids. He's not ever called me names but he has said things in passing that would be considered slagging, I think. My children asked me why do I let him do that. I told them, his words only control me if I let them. He words do not offend nor hurt me because I understand why he says them. I chose to love him. I chose to have control over my emotions. My children learned a very good lesson. In fact the whole school did. The parents and students saw it as well. The man is much more atuned to NOT slagging as a result but he found his answers on his own terms by himself with others telling him that the way he treated me was not right nor good for business. No, I did not take any abuse from him nor let him walk all over me, lol.. simply because I chose to see it as not abusive but as an opportunity to teach him and my children about love and patience... two things he needed in his life and two things my children needed to learn to be better adults. Sometimes it is better to have patience in these things and let the person hang himself... It means more to him that way because then he has a personal stake in it. My example of peace and love spoke louder to those around me than any words I could say in rebuke that would only bring me down to his level. There is a time for confrontation, there is a time for patience humility. Pure MA would teach the trainer to be tough on the man to strengthen the man's resolve and spirit to do battle with the enemy, which is the fat, and win. But to slag him while not in training is poor discipline on the trainer's part and please don't make any assumptions or connection that his slagging is due to the MA that I know. I can't comment on what is taught to the heart and spirit in MMA but I do know MA. I like the saying "To get respect you must give respect." It is not the other way around, that being, "You give me respect and I will give you respect." but instead it is the idea that if you want respect then you must give it, first. You can take that even higher and say to yourself I will give respect to anyone even if they do not give respect to me. I would suggest that you should tell the man that he won't keep his customers for very long if that is how he treats them when not training them. Everyone sees it, not just you, and it makes him look bad. Tell him that and see what he does. No one wants to look bad.

28-08-2006, 06:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
Peg Getting HUGE! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,467	Tatyana, I missed the c*nt comment. Somethings need to be said about rudeness for the sake of common decency and good manners. If we don't speak up then nothing changes. My MA instructor can be rude to provoke for better training and teaching how to control the emotions, but he will never be vulgar or profane in mixed company or when children are around. That is just good manners. There is no excuse for bad manners. If Tatyana is training at the same time and can over hear it and be offended by it, it will matter to the gym owners who want to keep ALL their clients. In my case, the other parents and students were offended by it and did say something to him... some also left the school because of his mannerisms. I'd at least ask the gym owners if they are aware of his open rudeness. I might ask the trainer why he does that. Ask him strictly for training purposes talking to him in regards to training motivations not that he is being rude. Find out why he trains that way and why he thinks it is effective.

28-08-2006, 06:33 PM	#13 (permalink)
Robsta UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In The Shire Posts: 6,218	T...If I were you I'd pull him up in front of everyone,...ask him what he meant by his comments, and go from there....he can't go mad at you because no offence, I doubt he would try and get hard on a woman.......so he would have to explain himself, and if what he says isn't good enough then tell him what you think of him.....plain and simple.....the best way to beat bullies is ridicule them in front of others..... If it was me though I'd pull him up in front of people and tell him if I hear him doing it again, then I'll be having a word in his shell, but from your point of view.....pull him up in front of everyone and ask him what he meant by his comments, and then just give your opinion....

28-08-2006, 06:42 PM	#15 (permalink)
Robsta UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In The Shire Posts: 6,218	Well it's up to you then hunny.....if you want to get involved then get involved...if you want to stay out then stay out.....I'm sure you've got some big hunks of beef chasing you round the gym all day who'd love to do you a favour!!!!lol