Why nice guys finish last... - UK-Muscle Body Building Community

_-NaTh-_ · 21-08-2006, 12:34 PM

I've been in a stormy "Friendship" for the past 3 months.. You can probley find the thread that explains it all..

A friendship that ended with kissing. I could explain but i will refrain.

A friend i've known for quite some time sent me this while i was feelin' quite upset one day.. It made me feel good, knowing that i was doing the right thing in everything i did.

This is a tribute to the nice guys.
The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends,
that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are,
while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always
provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs,
those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and
sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is
in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart
/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because
they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of
the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern.
This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her
privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends
back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for
the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the
creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by
the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who
are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and
unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and
when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting
two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you
thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was
all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she
interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant
about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the
most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was
immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two
hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.
This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows
that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you
to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted
shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing
to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited
purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re
nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more
disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should.
And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I
have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at
other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that
many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they
just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they
say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he
would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with
so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating
of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the
lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male
friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys,
girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the
connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what
they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete booty now!). But one thing
I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last
forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of
thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them
for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys.
You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described
as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your
patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party
escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations
where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement,
and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society,
and your well deserved vindication is coming.

:love:

NJL

Delhi · 21-08-2006, 02:00 PM

Nice post,

But this sort of thing makes me sick. Its time the nice blokes stopped being "Nice". The reason that she does not want you is SHE DOES NOT FANCY YOU. STOP BEING HER LITTLE PUPPY.

Look, from my years of experience (LOL) women go out with males that they find attractive. And they are willing to "take a risk" with an erse ole for the same resons that you and I would take a risk on a beautiful young female that was otherwise a nutter.

Let me put it this way; There are as many "Nice girls" are there are "Nice blokes" out there. Think about them.......... they are usually the ones who you are not attracted too, but they always speak nice to you / want to do things for you. But you dont notice any of this because you would not touch them with a barge pole..

I spent years of my life chasing a "Friend" and I tried every trick in the book at the time to "Impress" her. I did not get her in the end and eventually I moved on..............broken hearted.

I later meet my now wife (Who is a 1000 times the woman she ever was), and I am defo glad of the way my life has turned out.

But here is the strange part: I genuinely, 100% would not go near her (Friend) now, even if she offered it for free.
Even if I was not with my wife and she (Friend) asked me out I would say no way I have moved on to bigger and better things.........................

Moral of the story is this:
If you like a lass, ask her out, if she says no MOVE ON.

Timmy Smooth · 21-08-2006, 03:25 PM

I had a threesome with my friend. And her friend. It got very friendly. And they didn't mind cleaning up the mess afterwards.

Well, what are friends for, eh?

***Lorian*** · 21-08-2006, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _-NaTh-_

And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should.
And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t.

Nice guys by virtue of their very nature are not able to provide a wide enough range of emotional experience to hold an attractive girls interest beyond friendship.

L

HIGHLANDER · 21-08-2006, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorian

Nice guys by virtue of their very nature are not able to provide a wide enough range of emotional experience to hold an attractive girls interest beyond friendship.

L

That is like not getting your first ever job as your always told you dont have enough experience,doesnt mean your not equipped or couldnt do it better than the next person,just never given a bloody chance.

Why do most of the attractive girls pick/go out with the idiots ie no brains,just an ego and a reputation to live up to.I"ll be vetting both of my daughters boy friends when that time comes around,size wins respect every time with those type of guys.Just so happens I"ve got a few other things to my bow aswell

Highlander

***Lorian*** · 21-08-2006, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HIGHLANDER

That is like not getting your first ever job as your always told you dont have enough experience,doesnt mean your not equipped or couldnt do it better than the next person,just never given a bloody chance.

Fair comment. I'll rephrase my answer:

Nice guys by virtue of their very nature do not display the prospect of providing a wide enough range of emotional experience for an attractive girl to be tempted to enter into a relationship with them in the first place. In those rare circumstances where girls do enter into such relationships 'nice guys' are unable to provide the emotional stimulation required to hold her interest beyond a few months, 1 year tops (if the sex is good).

L

Tatyana · 21-08-2006, 10:05 PM

Have you ever thought of an older woman?

:target:

x
x
x

T

***Lorian*** · 21-08-2006, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tatyana

Have you ever thought of an older woman?

In what position?

L

bigdaftjoe · 21-08-2006, 10:11 PM

nice guys ha! tried it once but never again now they all claim they hate me until they get me alone!

**hackskii** · 21-08-2006, 10:17 PM

Why would a woman want a nice guy in the first place to be a boyfriend?
After all she has a male friend that she can talk to, vent on, get advice from, help her and she gets this all and doesnt have to put out.

If a man is a friend to the woman thinking he is going to go somewhere deeper than the frendship already is, I got news for ya.
It wont happen.

Tatyana · 21-08-2006, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorian

In what position?

L

x
x
x
T

HIGHLANDER · 22-08-2006, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorian

Fair comment. I'll rephrase my answer:

Nice guys by virtue of their very nature do not display the prospect of providing a wide enough range of emotional experience for an attractive girl to be tempted to enter into a relationship with them in the first place. In those rare circumstances where girls do enter into such relationships 'nice guys' are unable to provide the emotional stimulation required to hold her interest beyond a few months, 1 year tops (if the sex is good).

L

Ok,can you expand on what type of emotional experiences someone would not be equipped with/display to attract the opposite sex,without actually being able to interact and develop them while in a relationship.

Again it boils down to what do women look for in a guy,what kind of characteristics should he portray to attract one,as first impressions last,but you cant judge a book by its cover so shy,considerate.attractive,attentative,rounded educationaly,confident does not cut it.Should it be loud,brash,self opionated,arragant,over confident look at me type of guy (ok both abit overly sterotyped) attracts the females more.Surely their isnt a personnality that is inbetween.You girls sure are hardto please and dont all sing the same song,on the other hand we look for LOOKS GREAT,AND SEX,SEX,SEX, SEE THATS NOT DIFFICULT IS IT.

Highlander

**Tinytom** · 22-08-2006, 12:53 PM

What Lorian is getting at is that when you have something that works well all the time and needs little work to keep it running smoothly you get used to it and it becomes normal.

Like driving a ferrari everyday would eventually get boring and you'd welcome the chance to give a racing mini a quick spin.

'Nice guys' do everything for their woman and therefore become just another thing that the woman owns because it is always available for use.

Now the guy who sometimes gets angry and shouts or sometimes goes out with his mates and doesn't call or who sometimes forgets an important date, that requires work and mental input from the woman in order to 'fix' the problem. This creates a stimulus and the woman is rewarded in herself when th eman conforms and runs smoothly for a while until the next breakdown.

The same is true when you reverse the scenario.

A nice guy who never displays his 'male' side but instead is docile and subservient to the womans needs becomes a plaything which eventually leads the woman to discard him for a more enjoyable and exciting model.

Don't get me wrong, I abhor violence and agression towards anyone in a relationship but you've got to have some sort of spark to keep th erelationship going, everyone is human and everyone likes to feel needed and wanted, the 'nice guy' traditionally will get by on less attention from the female than she gives to him. Therefore the relationship is not equal due to this subconcious arrangment.

the_gre8t_1ne · 22-08-2006, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinytom

What Lorian is getting at is that when you have something that works well all the time and needs little work to keep it running smoothly you get used to it and it becomes normal.

Like driving a ferrari everyday would eventually get boring and you'd welcome the chance to give a racing mini a quick spin.

'Nice guys' do everything for their woman and therefore become just another thing that the woman owns because it is always available for use.

Now the guy who sometimes gets angry and shouts or sometimes goes out with his mates and doesn't call or who sometimes forgets an important date, that requires work and mental input from the woman in order to 'fix' the problem. This creates a stimulus and the woman is rewarded in herself when th eman conforms and runs smoothly for a while until the next breakdown.

The same is true when you reverse the scenario.

A nice guy who never displays his 'male' side but instead is docile and subservient to the womans needs becomes a plaything which eventually leads the woman to discard him for a more enjoyable and exciting model.

Don't get me wrong, I abhor violence and agression towards anyone in a relationship but you've got to have some sort of spark to keep th erelationship going, everyone is human and everyone likes to feel needed and wanted, the 'nice guy' traditionally will get by on less attention from the female than she gives to him. Therefore the relationship is not equal due to this subconcious arrangment.

Amen Brother...

pookie69 · 22-08-2006, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorian

Nice guys by virtue of their very nature are not able to provide a wide enough range of emotional experience to hold an attractive girls interest beyond friendship.

L

OK - reading that just depressed the crap outta me :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tatyana

Have you ever thought of an older woman?

I am HUGELY attracted to older women incidentally

I'm 24 and am friends with a 40 yr old lady who flirts with me shamelessly! I so wanna go there... but i don't think i should :(

21-08-2006, 12:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
_-NaTh-_ Gym Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lancashire.. Posts: 107	Why nice guys finish last... I've been in a stormy "Friendship" for the past 3 months.. You can probley find the thread that explains it all.. A friendship that ended with kissing. I could explain but i will refrain. A friend i've known for quite some time sent me this while i was feelin' quite upset one day.. It made me feel good, knowing that i was doing the right thing in everything i did. This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart /funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete booty now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. :love: NJL

21-08-2006, 10:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
hackskii Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sunny Southern California U.S.A. Posts: 22,672	Why would a woman want a nice guy in the first place to be a boyfriend? After all she has a male friend that she can talk to, vent on, get advice from, help her and she gets this all and doesnt have to put out. If a man is a friend to the woman thinking he is going to go somewhere deeper than the frendship already is, I got news for ya. It wont happen. __________________ "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - George Carlin Scott To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

22-08-2006, 12:53 PM	#13 (permalink)
Tinytom SuperMod on the road to redemption Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Babylon Posts: 5,382	What Lorian is getting at is that when you have something that works well all the time and needs little work to keep it running smoothly you get used to it and it becomes normal. Like driving a ferrari everyday would eventually get boring and you'd welcome the chance to give a racing mini a quick spin. 'Nice guys' do everything for their woman and therefore become just another thing that the woman owns because it is always available for use. Now the guy who sometimes gets angry and shouts or sometimes goes out with his mates and doesn't call or who sometimes forgets an important date, that requires work and mental input from the woman in order to 'fix' the problem. This creates a stimulus and the woman is rewarded in herself when th eman conforms and runs smoothly for a while until the next breakdown. The same is true when you reverse the scenario. A nice guy who never displays his 'male' side but instead is docile and subservient to the womans needs becomes a plaything which eventually leads the woman to discard him for a more enjoyable and exciting model. Don't get me wrong, I abhor violence and agression towards anyone in a relationship but you've got to have some sort of spark to keep th erelationship going, everyone is human and everyone likes to feel needed and wanted, the 'nice guy' traditionally will get by on less attention from the female than she gives to him. Therefore the relationship is not equal due to this subconcious arrangment. __________________ We are what we do. Excellence is therefore a habit not a skill. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - Code 'UKM 110' for an extra 5% discount To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Coming Soon To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Also mod at To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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21-08-2006, 02:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Delhi Bigger, Better, Stronger Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: North Posts: 1,861	Nice post, But this sort of thing makes me sick. Its time the nice blokes stopped being "Nice". The reason that she does not want you is SHE DOES NOT FANCY YOU. STOP BEING HER LITTLE PUPPY. Look, from my years of experience (LOL) women go out with males that they find attractive. And they are willing to "take a risk" with an erse ole for the same resons that you and I would take a risk on a beautiful young female that was otherwise a nutter. Let me put it this way; There are as many "Nice girls" are there are "Nice blokes" out there. Think about them.......... they are usually the ones who you are not attracted too, but they always speak nice to you / want to do things for you. But you dont notice any of this because you would not touch them with a barge pole.. I spent years of my life chasing a "Friend" and I tried every trick in the book at the time to "Impress" her. I did not get her in the end and eventually I moved on..............broken hearted. I later meet my now wife (Who is a 1000 times the woman she ever was), and I am defo glad of the way my life has turned out. But here is the strange part: I genuinely, 100% would not go near her (Friend) now, even if she offered it for free. Even if I was not with my wife and she (Friend) asked me out I would say no way I have moved on to bigger and better things......................... Moral of the story is this: If you like a lass, ask her out, if she says no MOVE ON.

21-08-2006, 03:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Timmy Smooth Banned Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Camden, London, via Cardiff. Posts: 2,794	I had a threesome with my friend. And her friend. It got very friendly. And they didn't mind cleaning up the mess afterwards. Well, what are friends for, eh?

21-08-2006, 10:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tatyana My name is EARL Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On my bloody bike doing cardio Posts: 3,434	Have you ever thought of an older woman? :target: x x x T

21-08-2006, 10:11 PM	#9 (permalink)
bigdaftjoe poon star Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: sunderland Posts: 1,278	nice guys ha! tried it once but never again now they all claim they hate me until they get me alone!