gonna be a dad - Page 3 - UK-Muscle Body Building Community

mitch · 25-05-2006, 11:30 AM

to Keyser

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

After a comment like that - id like to repeatedly kick you in your fukin head you sick b@stard.

In the circles you mix in - what would they be exactly - from the way you keep winging on you have no experince with women anyway so what would you know?

Your really are a fukin w@nker.

Here Here!

Carlos, i feel for you man. Must feel youve been kicked in the balls so many times you dont want to get up but seriously, keep your head up. Get yourself a nice job and that kid will be the best thing thats happend to you.

Tatyana · 25-05-2006, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

Are you off your head - you obviously know nothing about this so why comment?
IMO unless the mother is a drunken child battering whore then the child needs to be with mother more than the father.

Dig some dirt on the x - get real - how will this benifit the baby - after all its the babies wellfare whats at stake here and whats best for the baby.

Your dreaming if you think any court in the land will give custody to the father over the mother unless in extreme circumstances.

All this will do is cause further anomosity bewteen the mother and father and ultimatly the baby will suffer.

This situation has to be dealt with like adults on both sides not like a couple kids fighting over a toy.

Ok lads, IMHO, if you could stick your **** in a woman, then be prepared for the consequences.

I think you are all forgetting that CARLOS was in love with this woman and wanted to set up a future with her.

Who knows, it could just be a wild hormone thing that had her have a 'funny turn' and they could get back together.

EVERYONE may suffer with an unwanted pregancy, or everyone can benefit.

Ironman has said it perfectly. Well almost, cause I think children need both of their parents in their life.

What would have you trash the mother or father of your child? WHAT utter madness.

Yes people are angry and hurt when they split, but if you had any love or respect for that person AT ALL, and some people would say that this reflects on the love and respect you have for yourself, you would really wish the best for them. NOT try and make them wrong and pay for it.

x
x
x
T

**Great White** · 25-05-2006, 12:17 PM

Can we keep it civil please.

Remember, this is a discussion, everyone is entitled to there own oppinions.

I can just see this getting out of hand, and I dont want to have to close a good discussion

Thanks

Paul

**Tinytom** · 25-05-2006, 01:37 PM

From what I've read she doesn't look like she is a gold digger - there is no evidence of this in what has been said.

Thankfully I haven't been in this situation but have had a bird lie about being pregnant to try and get back with me.:confused:

KS I think your comments were out of line, Advocating violence towards women is not a mature attitude.

However it's true that some women (and men) are out to get what they can from you

DB · 25-05-2006, 01:42 PM

My ex got preggers after we broke up... it was eptopic(sp) so got away with it.... i kinda think she was lying to get back with me... dont blame her i'm quite a catch

lisa · 25-05-2006, 01:47 PM

of cause you are sweetheart lol

like kel said the only way is up now mate im sure everything will work out for the best

Lord Lucan · 25-05-2006, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

IMO unless the mother is a drunken child battering whore then the child needs to be with mother more than the father.

Dig some dirt on the x - get real - how will this benifit the baby - after all its the babies wellfare whats at stake here and whats best for the baby.

Your dreaming if you think any court in the land will give custody to the father over the mother unless in extreme circumstances.

All this will do is cause further anomosity bewteen the mother and father and ultimatly the baby will suffer.

This situation has to be dealt with like adults on both sides not like a couple kids fighting over a toy.

couldn't agree more mate! best place for the child is with the mother and whats to say having visitation rights for the farther means that you are not the farther? IMO that is all most kids see of there dads(i know most mothers work full time but they are normally the first one home and the one who spends more time with the baby)

my best mates mum and dad got a divorce when he was 10 and he sees more of his dad now than he did when his mum and dad were living together as his dad always knew he would be at home when he wanted to see him rarther than him only having certain times and days to see him!!

carlos if you want to see the baby the best thing for it is to try and be civil with your ex and try to get on! my stepdad has a son he has never seen because him and his partner broke up and they couldn't be civil so she went to scotland, he went to find her found her just before she had the baby appointed a solicitor and everyfin and she phoned him and said if he didn't stop she would leave the country, i know there's not a day that passes that he doesn't wish he hadn't messed things up between them sent him into a drinkin stage he used to drink more in 1 night than most people could drink in a month. Not saying you would be like that or that she would treat you like that but would you really want to follow KS's advice and find out??

Mikey · 25-05-2006, 04:09 PM

Why do you think the best place for the child is with the mother?

What ironman said is true, the court won't hand over custody and to attempt that at this stage (even to bring a solicitor into it at this stage) will only antagonise the woman and cause problems later on, however to say (without any knowledge of the situation in hand) that a child is better off with the mother is wrong.

Ironman · 25-05-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey

Why do you think the best place for the child is with the mother?

What ironman said is true, the court won't hand over custody and to attempt that at this stage (even to bring a solicitor into it at this stage) will only antagonise the woman and cause problems later on, however to say (without any knowledge of the situation in hand) that a child is better off with the mother is wrong.

I think it was a general reference - Ive just had a baby with my wife and I watch with awe at how good she is with the baby and how well the baby is doing because of it. Its called maternal instincts - its something 'most' women have an abundunce of. Its the way its always been amoungst all species for millions of years.
I love my daughter to pieces and I love the time I spend with her but I would never try to swap places with my wife - Its where my daughter is best off. Its just the way it is.
This is not to say some men cant do an equally good - just comes more naturally to women.

Peg · 25-05-2006, 04:42 PM

Ironman:
Studies actually show that the father's influence on a child has the greatest impact on the child. I'll look them up for you if you want.

I say that the father should have the option of full custody to the child.
I say that there are unfit mothers in the world as well as unfit fathers.
I've known quite a few unfit mothers in my counselling.

Ideally the child should have both parents in his/her life in copious quantity.
It can be done. It is just a matter of choice by the man or woman.

I think the choice is forced upon women by the courts. It is no wonder she has pushed heavily for the "right" to abortion.
It and adoption are the only way to escape her responsibility towards the child if she does not want it nor has a man who wants to be a good father for the child. It is the court that deems she must be a better caregiver than the dad. Men have always had the choice of leaving.

I know men who are fantastic fathers!!!

I think if men were forced the choice of rearing a child instead of the mother the world would be a better place or there might be fewer unplanned pregnancies.

BOTH mom and dad are important to a child's upbringing in the ideal.
Each contribute valuble experience and knowledge to the growth of the child.

Danny:you will agree about the mom being the best because that was your experience. I know others who think that being with dad was the best.

Tatyana: Having gone through this with my own child, there is no pointing or saying the person is wrong or not. It happened and so life will change drastically and character will be forged in the experience of what the future holds. I think Carlos will be an excellent father and will do what needs to be done that is right by him and the mother of his child. His baby, if it is his, will be fortunate to have a father that loves so greatly.

First things first, Carlos.
Paternity test to make sure you are the father.

Mikey · 25-05-2006, 04:57 PM

Excellent points all Peg.

Ideally (and obviously) the child should have positive contact with mother and father however often this is not possible. In such cases a man can fulfill a parental role as well as a woman.

mesomorphisis · 25-05-2006, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

Are you off your head - you obviously know nothing about this so why comment?

I comment because it is an open forum and everyone has the right to a civil opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

IMO unless the mother is a drunken child battering whore then the child needs to be with mother more than the father.

So if she is a sober child battering whore she deserves the child? Rubbish. Either parent works well for the child, in fact statistically children do better when the father has custody. Less truancy, less, criminal activity, less promiscuity, less addiction, better grades, etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

Dig some dirt on the x - get real - how will this benifit the baby - after all its the babies wellfare whats at stake here and whats best for the baby.

It will only benefit the baby in that it gets the child into the home of the father. This is exactly what the mother will do to get custody. It is the way of the courts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

Your dreaming if you think any court in the land will give custody to the father over the mother unless in extreme circumstances.

Actually I am not dreaming. If a father fights for custody, he gets it sixty percent of the time. The only reason more men don't have custody is because they often don't bother fighting for the privilige of being a full time dad. They beleive that crap of "only in extreme circumstances" and don't even try.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

All this will do is cause further anomosity bewteen the mother and father and ultimatly the baby will suffer.

Look the post was done to show how females tend to do this and so can men. The way it was written is to show the hypocrisy of prejudice when it comes to who should rear the child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ironman

This situation has to be dealt with like adults on both sides not like a couple kids fighting over a toy.

Ok don't dig up dirt, just higher an attorney and tell them you want custody. The attorney will take the lead in doing so. You can be sure the woman will be digging up dirt to protect her own interests. It's the nature of the beast.

Carlos901 · 25-05-2006, 06:41 PM

well, thanks guys.
it played on my mind yesterday, when she broke with me she went with another lad, and after all how was i to know she was 9 weeks gone? so i sent a polite txt, "hi, im not been a **** head here, but i would like it if i got tested to make sure the baby is mine, what do you think about this?" i got a reply with do what ya like, i know its yours etc etc, and she said im down the docs today at 3:50, so i said do u mind if i come along? she said no... so all was going pritty well on the takling terms and stuff. go to the docs, sat out side, she come along, so i said are you ready to go in? she said yeh. i said lets go then, then she said, wait what you on about? your not comeing in with me.. now to keep the peace i said ok, and i happily waited outside, 15 mins passes by i get a txt saying if your cold out there why dont you come and sit in here? i was like cause u wouldnt let me? anyway she showed me the forms and stuff dates etc, and the dates match from when i was going with her, it happend when we went away. so finaly, she made an opointment for her first scan etc whilst she was there, i said do u mind if i come to the scans? there was a 2 min pause, she said i supose so. i said ohh thats good, thanks. and she said she would let me know when the date is for the scans etc, atleast she is keeping me updated guys.. i feel better for it now. but honestly, i feel sorry for her, her hormones are all over the place, she doesnt know weather to talk to me nice or just argue, one min she was nice and the next she ripped me head off, like we where both sat in the docs waiting, i cracked a little joke, and she laughed and said "dont try and be funny" thats what i want, for us to just get on, i know i havent been the best person to her in the last 5 weeks, but now she is pregnant its totaly diffrent.

mesomorphisis · 25-05-2006, 08:00 PM

Well I would suggest two things. If you might want to get back with her I would suggest to continue to do what you are doing. In fact I would encourage you to do what you are doing, going with her, even if you do not want to get back with her. If seeking custody showing you went to every doc visit you could shows genuine interest. In addition all those visits and you may find you guys are meant for each other. If she has the passion to argue, possibly she still has other passions for you too.

The second thing I would suggest you do is keep a personal diary. Not only will it be good for your own personal growth to reflect upon but will also document how things are going. If the emotional swings get to freaky this is something you may want to to refer to when it comes to her being a satisfactory parent or not.

Basically get ready for getting along and just in case a battle. It can go either way, but there will be no middle ground here. This child will bring you together or used as a point of disagreement. Remember, the only behaviors you can control are your own.

GOOD LUCK!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carlos901

well, thanks guys.
it played on my mind yesterday, when she broke with me she went with another lad, and after all how was i to know she was 9 weeks gone? so i sent a polite txt, "hi, im not been a **** head here, but i would like it if i got tested to make sure the baby is mine, what do you think about this?" i got a reply with do what ya like, i know its yours etc etc, and she said im down the docs today at 3:50, so i said do u mind if i come along? she said no... so all was going pritty well on the takling terms and stuff. go to the docs, sat out side, she come along, so i said are you ready to go in? she said yeh. i said lets go then, then she said, wait what you on about? your not comeing in with me.. now to keep the peace i said ok, and i happily waited outside, 15 mins passes by i get a txt saying if your cold out there why dont you come and sit in here? i was like cause u wouldnt let me? anyway she showed me the forms and stuff dates etc, and the dates match from when i was going with her, it happend when we went away. so finaly, she made an opointment for her first scan etc whilst she was there, i said do u mind if i come to the scans? there was a 2 min pause, she said i supose so. i said ohh thats good, thanks. and she said she would let me know when the date is for the scans etc, atleast she is keeping me updated guys.. i feel better for it now. but honestly, i feel sorry for her, her hormones are all over the place, she doesnt know weather to talk to me nice or just argue, one min she was nice and the next she ripped me head off, like we where both sat in the docs waiting, i cracked a little joke, and she laughed and said "dont try and be funny" thats what i want, for us to just get on, i know i havent been the best person to her in the last 5 weeks, but now she is pregnant its totaly diffrent.

Beginner · 25-05-2006, 08:08 PM

I think that the best will try to convince your girlfriend to sit down with you and talk about the main thing which is the child.

The fact that she has told you and does not want you to get involved sounds like a punishment to me. Not sure why the relationship finished?

I know very well, from my own experience, that the child will ask who his father is at some stage and for the sake of the child and his/her wellbeing I think you should be involved.

It is very hard for a child to grow out without a father figure.

I just hope you manage to resolve things with your ex.

By the way, I am sure that things will get better for you in all fronts.

25-05-2006, 01:37 PM	#34 (permalink)
Tinytom super-hypno-moderator Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Babylon Posts: 6,032	From what I've read she doesn't look like she is a gold digger - there is no evidence of this in what has been said. Thankfully I haven't been in this situation but have had a bird lie about being pregnant to try and get back with me.:confused: KS I think your comments were out of line, Advocating violence towards women is not a mature attitude. However it's true that some women (and men) are out to get what they can from you __________________ www.mosn.co.uk - supplements use code 'UKM 110' for extra discount www.performancehypnosis.co.uk - believe in change Sponsored by Extreme Nutrition.

25-05-2006, 01:42 PM	#35 (permalink)
DB UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: SW London Posts: 11,766	My ex got preggers after we broke up... it was eptopic(sp) so got away with it.... i kinda think she was lying to get back with me... dont blame her i'm quite a catch __________________ Affiliate of Bulk Supplements Direct Discount Code= BSD290 UKBFF southcoast 2008, O80kg Champion

25-05-2006, 04:42 PM	#40 (permalink)
Peg Getting HUGE! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,467	Ironman: Studies actually show that the father's influence on a child has the greatest impact on the child. I'll look them up for you if you want. I say that the father should have the option of full custody to the child. I say that there are unfit mothers in the world as well as unfit fathers. I've known quite a few unfit mothers in my counselling. Ideally the child should have both parents in his/her life in copious quantity. It can be done. It is just a matter of choice by the man or woman. I think the choice is forced upon women by the courts. It is no wonder she has pushed heavily for the "right" to abortion. It and adoption are the only way to escape her responsibility towards the child if she does not want it nor has a man who wants to be a good father for the child. It is the court that deems she must be a better caregiver than the dad. Men have always had the choice of leaving. I know men who are fantastic fathers!!! I think if men were forced the choice of rearing a child instead of the mother the world would be a better place or there might be fewer unplanned pregnancies. BOTH mom and dad are important to a child's upbringing in the ideal. Each contribute valuble experience and knowledge to the growth of the child. Danny:you will agree about the mom being the best because that was your experience. I know others who think that being with dad was the best. Tatyana: Having gone through this with my own child, there is no pointing or saying the person is wrong or not. It happened and so life will change drastically and character will be forged in the experience of what the future holds. I think Carlos will be an excellent father and will do what needs to be done that is right by him and the mother of his child. His baby, if it is his, will be fortunate to have a father that loves so greatly. First things first, Carlos. Paternity test to make sure you are the father. Last edited by Peg; 25-05-2006 at 04:44 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

25-05-2006, 12:17 PM	#33 (permalink)
Great White Sexy Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 9,262	Can we keep it civil please. Remember, this is a discussion, everyone is entitled to there own oppinions. I can just see this getting out of hand, and I dont want to have to close a good discussion Thanks Paul

25-05-2006, 01:47 PM	#36 (permalink)
lisa uk-muscles own Princess Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 243	of cause you are sweetheart lol like kel said the only way is up now mate im sure everything will work out for the best

25-05-2006, 04:09 PM	#38 (permalink)
Mikey Newbie Trainer Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 47	Why do you think the best place for the child is with the mother? What ironman said is true, the court won't hand over custody and to attempt that at this stage (even to bring a solicitor into it at this stage) will only antagonise the woman and cause problems later on, however to say (without any knowledge of the situation in hand) that a child is better off with the mother is wrong.

25-05-2006, 04:57 PM	#41 (permalink)
Mikey Newbie Trainer Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 47	Excellent points all Peg. Ideally (and obviously) the child should have positive contact with mother and father however often this is not possible. In such cases a man can fulfill a parental role as well as a woman.

25-05-2006, 06:41 PM	#43 (permalink)
Carlos901 Legend Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,805	well, thanks guys. it played on my mind yesterday, when she broke with me she went with another lad, and after all how was i to know she was 9 weeks gone? so i sent a polite txt, "hi, im not been a **** head here, but i would like it if i got tested to make sure the baby is mine, what do you think about this?" i got a reply with do what ya like, i know its yours etc etc, and she said im down the docs today at 3:50, so i said do u mind if i come along? she said no... so all was going pritty well on the takling terms and stuff. go to the docs, sat out side, she come along, so i said are you ready to go in? she said yeh. i said lets go then, then she said, wait what you on about? your not comeing in with me.. now to keep the peace i said ok, and i happily waited outside, 15 mins passes by i get a txt saying if your cold out there why dont you come and sit in here? i was like cause u wouldnt let me? anyway she showed me the forms and stuff dates etc, and the dates match from when i was going with her, it happend when we went away. so finaly, she made an opointment for her first scan etc whilst she was there, i said do u mind if i come to the scans? there was a 2 min pause, she said i supose so. i said ohh thats good, thanks. and she said she would let me know when the date is for the scans etc, atleast she is keeping me updated guys.. i feel better for it now. but honestly, i feel sorry for her, her hormones are all over the place, she doesnt know weather to talk to me nice or just argue, one min she was nice and the next she ripped me head off, like we where both sat in the docs waiting, i cracked a little joke, and she laughed and said "dont try and be funny" thats what i want, for us to just get on, i know i havent been the best person to her in the last 5 weeks, but now she is pregnant its totaly diffrent.

25-05-2006, 08:08 PM	#45 (permalink)
Beginner Newbie Trainer Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 29	I think that the best will try to convince your girlfriend to sit down with you and talk about the main thing which is the child. The fact that she has told you and does not want you to get involved sounds like a punishment to me. Not sure why the relationship finished? I know very well, from my own experience, that the child will ask who his father is at some stage and for the sake of the child and his/her wellbeing I think you should be involved. It is very hard for a child to grow out without a father figure. I just hope you manage to resolve things with your ex. By the way, I am sure that things will get better for you in all fronts.