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Reload this Page Do you NEED love (be it romantic, familial or whatever)?

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Old 07-05-2006, 11:39 PM   #16 (permalink)
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love is needed

Well, here's a take by Maslow on it.
He says we need love if we are to reach that ultimate self-actualization.

but I don't say we need love because of Maslow.
I'm just putting that in because the "science" of love seems to be wanted as well.



No ruffled feelings I hope Tatyana.. Not intended that way... just more questions to find the deeper meanings of the need for love.

Yes, I've read about the reasons for the 1,3, 7, 15, 23 year itch.
I'll look them up for you and we can compare notes!
Last edited by Peg; 08-05-2006 at 02:42 AM.
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Old 08-05-2006, 01:17 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Of course not hun!

I just love the geeky science stuff!

Ok contemporary of Maslow, Dr. Claire Graves who takes off at Self Actualisation. I just love this stuff!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiral_Dynamics
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Old 08-05-2006, 01:18 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Ok I really want to learn how to do those fancy links! ANNOY! :boohoo:
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Old 08-05-2006, 02:22 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I love the geeky science too...
Science is my second love.

But, I like to temper it with the unseen and mysteries of life that science has yet to explain because our minds are too finite to grasp fully the beauty and complexity of it all.

see pm for how to do fancy links.


Spiral Dynamics
Good stuff... off to the powder room for chatting... msn maybe??? let me know.

hugs and kisses, Tatyana, and wishes for your week to be full of the greatness of perfect love in your life.

Peg
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Last edited by Peg; 08-05-2006 at 02:34 AM.
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Old 08-05-2006, 03:08 AM   #20 (permalink)
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love is complicated

I was put on the spot once and asked to describe what love is.

although i have been in love once, i couldnt answer her.

Ive told myself i dont need to love or be loved and have put up a barrier for the past 3 years.
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Old 08-05-2006, 05:26 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I have been in love before and I was on top of the world.
I do want that again.

I just saw my Daughter swim today and spending time with her was awesome, she makes me laugh.
I watch her sleep sometimes and it makes me melt.
I love my daughter.

I think it is actually easy to love.
I think it is a good thing too.
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Old 08-05-2006, 06:23 AM   #22 (permalink)
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In my opinion, if people spent less time analyising what they think "love" is and just got on with life, a lot more would be contented and happy with their lot
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Old 08-05-2006, 10:17 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Ms. Williams, you most certainly have some interesting interpretations of what is said.

I would have thought with your background in psychology you would have thrown in some Ken Wilber or John Gottman or who was the British psychoanalyst who studied attachment just after WWII? John Bowlby and Attachment Theory
I think analysing, discourse and discussion is a good thing, a very good thing, as what it that statement,

The purpose of studying history is so we don't repeat it, in my very basic speak.

If we study love, we might be able to prevent some of the heartache and disastrous divorce rates that are occurring. NOT studying it or discussing "what is love", except in the realms of philosophers and psychologists, has gotten us where we are today. GREAT!

I think this conversation is very powerful. People can realise they are not alone, that most share in the either that desire for love, or fear of it.

Personally, I think that there is a very strong possibility that people who say that they do not need or want love do so as a defense mechanism.

One might think it is easier to deny wanting love, I get it is FEAR of rejection, abandonment, inadequacy. Been there, got the T-shirt, now on to finding a great LOVE.

Click here for some of the latest research New Scientist articles on love I fancy link now! as Peg has shown me how! THANKS hun!
:love:

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Last edited by Tatyana; 08-05-2006 at 10:35 AM.
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:39 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana
I think this conversation is very powerful. People can realise they are not alone, that most share in the either that desire for love, or fear of it.

Personally, I think that there is a very strong possibility that people who say that they do not need or want love do so as a defense mechanism.

One might think it is easier to deny wanting love, I get it is FEAR of rejection, abandonment, inadequacy. Been there, got the T-shirt, now on to finding a great LOVE.
Fear of love. That is an interesting thought. Why fear? Fear of rejection is a defensive mechanism. Fear of love is what? What motivates the fear of love?
Could be that the defense mechanism is that feeling of not being worthy enough to be loved as well, yes?

Maybe we aren't worthy??? but that does not stop love from loving does it.
If it does, then was it really love in the first place.

I will have to agree somewhat with Sarah.
Sometimes we can analyse too much and then take no action because the analysis makes us wary or can limit us to seeing love in only a certain way.

How can you truely contain love into a scientific box and explanation?

I will say that there is a need in everyone's heart to be significant in some way.
Love in its many complexities and shapes and sizes will be a part of that significance be it family. friends, job, spouse, children.

I do agree with Tatyana that it is good to have knowledge so that you can make good choices and learn from the past.

Interesting, why is it that we all look for that one love?
If we don't now, did we in the past? If we did in the past, why do we not look for it now?
What changed? What took it's place?
If we are waiting to find that one later in our lifes, why are we waiting? Will we still want that special one later?
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:46 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana
Ms. Williams, you most certainly have some interesting interpretations of what is said.

I would have thought with your background in psychology you would have thrown in some Ken Wilber or John Gottman or who was the British psychoanalyst who studied attachment just after WWII? John Bowlby and Attachment Theory
I think analysing, discourse and discussion is a good thing, a very good thing, as what it that statement,

The purpose of studying history is so we don't repeat it, in my very basic speak.

If we study love, we might be able to prevent some of the heartache and disastrous divorce rates that are occurring. NOT studying it or discussing "what is love", except in the realms of philosophers and psychologists, has gotten us where we are today. GREAT!

I think this conversation is very powerful. People can realise they are not alone, that most share in the either that desire for love, or fear of it.

Personally, I think that there is a very strong possibility that people who say that they do not need or want love do so as a defense mechanism.

One might think it is easier to deny wanting love, I get it is FEAR of rejection, abandonment, inadequacy. Been there, got the T-shirt, now on to finding a great LOVE.

Click here for some of the latest research New Scientist articles on love I fancy link now! as Peg has shown me how! THANKS hun!
:love:

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Old 09-05-2006, 10:27 AM   #26 (permalink)
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I need love of the family kind and romantic kind too. I have the family love without a doubt but the romantic kind was non-existent until recently. He has made me realise what love is and how to love and now I know what romantic love means.....you know what, it's unreal!
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Old 09-05-2006, 02:43 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meera
I need love of the family kind and romantic kind too. I have the family love without a doubt but the romantic kind was non-existent until recently. He has made me realise what love is and how to love and now I know what romantic love means.....you know what, it's unreal!
That sounds nice.
I want that.
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Old 09-05-2006, 06:25 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Indeed it is unreal.

It combines the "scientific" hormonal addiction of pleasure with the mental and intellectual choice and the spiritual joy of seeing the other happy which in turns makes you happy and feeling good about everything..

It is so wonderful to feel that you are important and special more than life in another person's heart and mind, eh?
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Old 09-05-2006, 08:56 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Peg
...It is so wonderful to feel that you are important and special more than life in another person's heart and mind, eh?
Truly.
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Old 09-05-2006, 10:17 PM   #30 (permalink)
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I have been in love before and I was on top of the world.
I do want that again.
You WILL have it again, mate. You've been out with enough psycho women to smell them a mile away, you know all the warning signs, all the yellow flags as well as the red ones, when you bulk up you'll be unstoppable. You're gonna have your pick of 30-somethings, and be an inspiration to all of us as you turn the heads of a few of the 20-somethings , Hacks. I think you're going to get more action at 50 than most 30 y.o's do.

Here's to our leader, Hack the Great!!


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