funny read........ - UK-Muscle Body Building Community

**big pete** · 26-04-2006, 12:50 PM

original letter sent by the authorities........

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This
guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you
get to the response letter.
(State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec.
20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across
the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the
start of this type of activity.

A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been
issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are
inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore
orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to
restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and
brush forming the dams from the stream channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2005.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case being referred for
elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative, Land and Water Management Division

**big pete** · 26-04-2006, 12:54 PM

This is the actual response sent back:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond
in regarding to the above mentioned file.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor
supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended
that you call their skillful use of natures building materials
"debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I
believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their
dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they
must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of
dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers...or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to
said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
through The Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of
all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301,
Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation,
so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter...they being
unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers
have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is
blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more
dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection
Lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the
beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more
elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The
Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no
way for you or your dam staff to harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!

Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers
alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your
step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to
comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your
dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Thank You,

Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

DB · 26-04-2006, 01:01 PM

lmao!

BIG-UNC · 26-04-2006, 01:03 PM

thats a damm good responce

Lee · 26-04-2006, 01:15 PM

brilliant lol

Crazy Mick · 26-04-2006, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG-UNC

thats a damm good responce

Yes, a 'dam' good response

Swift · 26-04-2006, 01:45 PM

lol quality

danny26 · 27-04-2006, 09:14 PM

nice one....would be cool to see the reply to that one....lol

**hackskii** · 27-04-2006, 09:46 PM

Written well.
I bet the authorities did nothing there.

Sen0 · 27-04-2006, 10:21 PM

Haha that made me laugh :>

David Lloyd · 28-04-2006, 03:31 PM

authorities dont respond that well to sarcasm in my experience

BIG-UNC · 28-04-2006, 03:42 PM

authorities dont respond well to anything if its not benefitial to themselves!

26-04-2006, 12:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
big pete UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: south midlands Posts: 3,797	funny read........ original letter sent by the authorities........ This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter. (State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2005. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative, Land and Water Management Division

26-04-2006, 01:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
DB UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: SW London Posts: 11,766	lmao! __________________ Affiliate of Bulk Supplements Direct Discount Code= BSD290 UKBFF southcoast 2008, O80kg Champion

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26-04-2006, 12:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
big pete UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: south midlands Posts: 3,797	This is the actual response sent back: Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County. Dear Mr. Price, Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond in regarding to the above mentioned file. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers...or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through The Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter...they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection Lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. Thank You, Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

26-04-2006, 01:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
BIG-UNC IF YOU BUILD IT.....THEY WILL COME! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: middlesbrough Posts: 1,945	thats a damm good responce

26-04-2006, 01:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
Lee Made in Liverpool Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Liverpool Posts: 1,047	brilliant lol

26-04-2006, 01:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Swift Newbie Trainer Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 16	lol quality

27-04-2006, 09:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
danny26 Gym Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: cardiff Posts: 203	nice one....would be cool to see the reply to that one....lol

27-04-2006, 09:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
hackskii UK-Muscle Moderator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sunny Southern California U.S.A. Posts: 24,337	Written well. I bet the authorities did nothing there.

27-04-2006, 10:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sen0 Gym Addict Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: London Posts: 231	Haha that made me laugh :>

28-04-2006, 03:31 PM	#11 (permalink)
David Lloyd obsessed is a word lazy people use to describe the dedicated Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Kingston Posts: 379	authorities dont respond that well to sarcasm in my experience

28-04-2006, 03:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
BIG-UNC IF YOU BUILD IT.....THEY WILL COME! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: middlesbrough Posts: 1,945	authorities dont respond well to anything if its not benefitial to themselves!