| Re: when do you become big?
You become "big" when people call you "Big Dave" or "Big Mark" or whatever your name is. Until people use this prefix, you are not allowed to consider yourself "big".
Another measure is p1ssed blokes needing to challenge you to an arm wrestle, this is another good indication that you're now "big".
Fat blokes are funny around "big" - they like to ask you how much you weigh and then they tell you that they weigh a similar amount as if that's the same thing and they deserve some credit for being a tub of lard.
Further evidence of being "big" is when chicks want to squeeze your arms in boozers. A down side to this is when you hear them telling their fella that you look like a freak and obviously have mental issues to need to be that size.
If you are "big" you cannot safely sit on garden furniture without breaking it, nothing fits, your back aches when you walk further than 30 yards and the Mrs needs to spend most of the time on top or you'll suffocate her. |