good god man! its no wonder your having problems
the deadlift, second only to the squat, is the most important lift when aiming to gain size and strength. its very easy to explain, but very technical, and as it requires a huge amount of lower back strength, it is best to get someone to show you the correct form in real life. a good coach/PT should do this.
or find out where the nearst PL club is, even if its a 1 hr drive, just go once and see how its done. they will be big guys with big lifts, but they don't bite, and are usually more than happy to help a newbie get squatting and pulling.
lastly, if you value the ability to walk and perfrom simple day to day tasks that you take for granted: NEVER, EVER do deadlifts for reps higher than 3. 5 at very most. its just plain dangerous.